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  • Cuntree Mouse, City Mouse

    Sometimes the cuntree mouse ventures into the city.  My friend Gita and I decided to go shopping in Boston, an act I have not done in over 3 years.  When I lived in NYC I kinda gave a shit what I wore, but now that I live amongst the trees and chicken shit, I don’t really think it matters if my outfit clashes.  Especially in a place where the only online dating site that is advertised on television is “farmersonly.com.”

    The other element that has been impeding my fashion choices these days is my attachment comfort.  It is hard to prioritize a really cute pair of pants that ride up my ass to the point of creating a canyon between my cheeks, or shoes that feel like foot binding. I kind of would rather wear a fleece onsie.

    So when I was trying on “skinny jeans” today that were supposed to make me look….ummmm skinny I guess… I couldn’t get over how restrictive they felt.

    Toni: “Are you sure these are the right size?”

    Sales girl: “Yeah…. Totally”

    Toni: “Do you have them a size bigger.”

    Sales girl: “Yeah…. Totally.  But those are totally the right size.”

    Toni: “There are just so tight around the waist.”

    Sales girl: “Yeah.”

    Toni: “Its just that I am used to wearing maternity jeans.  In fact those are the only jeans I wear these days.  They have this roomy elastic waistband that is stretchy and without buttons to constrict your flesh.”

    Sales girl: “OH when did you have your baby?”

    Toni: “3-years ago.”

    Sales girl: “Ummm seriously dude.  Buy those jeans.”

    cuntree-mouse-blog-(i)

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    May 17, 2013 • 2 years old, Adventures, Mommy Body, Mommy Mind, Women's Business • Views: 12528

  • Naked Girls are Amazing Accessories

    You know how chicks rely on purses, belts and heels to sass up their look and make them more look feminine?  Well guys have their own version of accessorizing to make them look manlier, and it is usually a scantily dressed bird.  Nothing says I am a stud more than a slender dame with her tits hanging out draped on your arm.  But you have to hold her up! She is hungry and her feet hurt from her shoes!

    But this is nothing new.  It is such an old paradigm that I am sure there are cave paintings of Cog and his lady friend Mwanpa in a semi-upright position, with her beard in braids wearing a risqué rock bra trying to look sexy.  Women play into this convention just as much as men want them to because being valued for our beauty gives us a sense of worth.  That is why there are so many willing participants in the media who will gladly display their bodies as decorations when men need them to look virile.

    Lets take for example, music videos.  A babe on set is the ultimate garnish to make you look cool.  Sometimes it is her whole body, and sometimes-just parts of her body like in “Baby’s Got Back” – a video with giant butt sculptures for the guys to sit on.  I don’t really have a problem with this, but you would never see a video with girls squatting over a giant set of balls rapping about wanting testicles to be large and ploppy.  Although I welcome the sentiment of appreciating a full figured woman, there is a double standard that always exists when it comes to the objectification of the female body compared to the man’s.  Maybe that is because a man’s crotch looks like the elephant man’s face… but still.

    But I have come to accept this as relatively commonplace, and usually try and enjoy things for what they are.  The classic scenario of a man singing a long to his song, while birds wiggle around and shake their hips too and fro in somewhat consistency of the beat.  Pretty standard recipe I thought… until I saw THIS VIDEO by with Robin Thick, Pharrell, and TI.

    So you know that saying “half-naked” women, and how it usually refers to skirts who are wearing few clothes?  Yeah, so these Betties are literally half naked.  They are wearing nude thongs, weird nurse-friendly sneakers, and nothing else.  Their bare bosoms are flopping around and jiggling – reverberating with every step they take.

    This is really the weirdest video ever.  At fist I was like “is this an ironic statement??”  Having the men be fully dressed in suits as the women parade around with their areolas exposed to the elements?   But then there was one girl who was dry humping a taxidermy dog, while another cradled a lamb and I thought “no… I think they are serious.”

    At one point “Robin Thick has a big dick” is spelled out in silver balloons prompting me to think, “oh this has to be a fucking joke…” But then the chorus drops in saying “I know you want it” over and over- that coupled with a scene of a girl’s bare ass with a flag sticking out that read STOP made me feel like things were getting kind of rapey.  This was only further inflamed by the lyric “try to domesticate you, but you’re an animal” where a girl is all fours thrusting while another girl has her foot on her ass like she has just conquered her.

    I mean, this is taking the whole hot chick in my video idea to a new level.  I want to think this is a spoof.  Or at least an intentional commentary rather than an actual attempt of making something you want people to take seriously.  But I really can’t tell.  And you know what? The girls bobbing around with no tops on sort of look silly!  Like they would be sexier if there was some mystique to their outfits.

    The nurse shoes are really odd right?

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    May 7, 2013 • 2 years old, Current Events, Mommy Mind, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 3966

  • When you are talented you don’t have to be pretty

    Although the culture at large is obsessed with physical beauty, being an attractive woman can become the defining attribute of your identity.  Men of course can be vain and care deeply about their appearance, but there will still be societal expectations of him beyond his defined cheekbones and sculpted buttocks.  Yet for a woman, sometimes, just being pretty can be enough.

    When a woman is gorgeous it can excuse her from being anything else.  That is why it is always surprising when a stunning girl also happens to be smart, or good at science, or interested in politics.  The “sexy professional” is a concept so absurd by cultural standards that it has become a cliché Halloween costume… in the realm of myth, fantasy, and the ridiculous.

    Even though I know all this, and can identify the meaninglessness of judging women for her looks, I still do it everyday of my life.  I will flip through a magazine or watch a movie and think: “Well, she is not that pretty.  Her left eye is lower than her right and she has this weird dimple thing going on when she talks.  Her forehead is too small and there is a something funky going on with her left ear.  Oh, and her ass is kind of flat and flabby.”

    What am I even talking about?? Why do I do that?

    First of all, all these women are somehow in the spot light and therefor have even more pressure to be aesthetically perfect.  Which is bizarre considering how many foul looking men are able to be in that same position but are critiqued on skill alone.  Then I realized that the women I evaluate the most are the ones that I am not blown away by their talent.  I mean they are okay, they don’t suck, but they aren’t brilliant.  When a woman is really masterful at her craft, be it Lena Dunham, Adel, Brittany Howard, Meryl Streep, Toni Morrison, Janice Joplin, Virginia Wolf, Martha Graham… I don’t give a flying fuck in a rolling doughnut what they look like.  I will maybe rip apart Brittany Spears for her hair extensions showing and having a frozen grin plastered to her face, but that is because she is only mediocre at singing.

    So being excessively beautiful may stunt your growth as a human, artist, or thinker because people’s expectations of you will be lower.  You wont have to push yourself as hard.  Beauty can conceal your averageness.

    Supposedly I am not supposed to tell my daughter she is pretty all the time because that will infect her psyche and she will start to believe her beauty is tied with her self-worth.  No doubt.  This is true, and I down with this idea.  But I also don’t want her relying on her lovely face, and be unexceptional in the rest of her life, because it was too easy to invest more in her genetic disposition.  That sounds lame!  I would so much rather The Munch impress people with her endless genius than her tits or ass.  Of course I don’t want to give her a complex and never acknowledge her adorableness, but at the same time most insanely attractive people are also insanely boring.

     

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    March 18, 2013 • 2 years old, Mommy Body, Mommy Mind, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 1369