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eco
Posts

  • Self-Righteous Hippy

    I know I am a hypocrite. Despite the fact that I am staunchly committed to certain values, I am also very lenient when it comes to my moral code. I live in a quantum mass of contradictions, and I am as uncomfortable as I am okay with that. So yeah….

    I have a lot of standards of how I want to operate in the world, but life doesn’t always allow the purity of my vision. Or maybe more accurately, my laziness does not always foster flawlessness. In an ideal circumstance I would never support a corporation, eat only food that grew on the virgin soil I tilled, and exclusively wear fabrics weaved by fair trade fairies. But I don’t. I try…. but I am far from perfect.

    I wanted to raise my kid to be a new age indigo child of the future who ate stardust, played with caterpillars, wore Birkenstocks, and communicated telepathically with her acute 6th sense of empathy. I mean The Munch is cool and all, but she for SURE is corrupted by popular culture – and I really only have myself to blame. It is not like I introduced Munch to My Little Pony, but now that she knows they are out there with their fluorescent manes, I don’t deny her of them either.

    In my New Hampsha community many of us straddle the line of wanting our kids to be the crystal generation that saves humanity with their heightened awareness and compassion, and getting sick of them so we let them eat candy and watch cartoons. We are doing our best to condition them with sticks for toys and mud for entertainment, yet we also sometimes give up when they whine too much about getting dirt in their butt. It’s a compromise.

    But in Vermont, the state that is 69-ing with New Hampsha, they keep it real. Vermont is hardcore when it comes to their hippy ideology. Most of my friends live in cabins you have to hike 1.8 miles to get to, and once you are there you realize there is no running water or insulation. It is super common for someone to ask to use your shower because they live in a tent, and if you were to ever mention having a dishwasher or a dryer people would look at you like you just raped their cat in their living room.

    The dance studio I own is in the mecca of Vermont hippy central. Even though I am kind of part of the community, I also am not because I don’t harvest my own Kombucha.

    Sooooo…. the other day Munch and I went to this organic “fish and chips” place to get some dinner after my class. I had been there before, and knew the guy who owned the place had a daughter about Munch’s age. While we were waiting for our food, I was trying to be nice, so I asked the dude about his stupid kid.

    Toni: So how is your daughter?
    Self-righteous Hippy: She is really good. We have been taking her out into the woods to identify mushrooms so…
    Toni: Oh cool. That sounds fun.
    Self-righteous Hippy: Yeah, well she already knows all the birdcalls of the indigenous species in the area so….
    Toni: Right on. Ummm. Does she like Frozen?
    Self-righteous Hippy: Excuse me?
    Toni: You know, Frozen? The Movie.
    Self-righteous Hippy: Oh. The Disney movie?
    Toni: Yeah. Like all the little girls I know are obsessed with that movie and the music from it.
    Self-righteous Hippy: Yeah, we don’t allow any screen time in our yurt, and we certainly wouldn’t ever let our child watch the corruption that is Disney.
    Toni: Yeah, I get what you mean. It is not ideal. But I think at least Disney is trying to promote a more feminist message lately.
    Self-righteous Hippy: Ummm yeah… I guess. I just would never know that or care to know that.

    I then looked over at Munch who was wearing her “Little Mermaid” dress, Cinderella glass slipper high heel shoes, and Dora The Explorer hat.

    Toni: Right totally… me neither.

    (Here is Munch is her “Frozen” princess dress celebrating the sky, and her “Beauty and the Beast” princess dress, Dora hat, eating a tomato from our garden)

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    August 5, 2014 • 4 years old, Adventures, Behavior, Mommyhood, Parenting, Talking and Not Talking • Views: 2756

  • Why Don’t You Take Your Bag and Shove It Up Your Ass!

    Hey world.  So this really awesome thing has been happening to me where my vagina bleeds every 2-weeks rather than 4.  It is amazing. I love it sooooooo much! Thanks nature! I don’t want to kick you in the twatt at all!

    In case it isn’t clear, I am in a really shit-tastic mood. So you can imagine how pumped I was to go grocery shopping with The Munch at the stupid organic store, only to realize that I didn’t bring my own eco-friendly bag.  I don’t know if you know this, but needing a bag at the hippy store is about as offensive as taking a shit in the middle of the aisle and then refusing to wipe.  When the cash register lady realized I had the audacity to admit I didn’t have my own $30 hemp bag, she acted as if I was single handedly responsible for destroying the planet with my selfish needs.

    Cashier: “Wait, so you didn’t bring your own bag?”

    Toni: “No I am sorry.  I didn’t plan to go shopping today, but then I realized I had time so….”

    Cashier: “So you don’t leave them in your car?”

    Toni: “Well, I guess the last time I used them, I left them in my house and forgot to bring them back to my car?”

    Cashier: “Well that is what you have to do next time.”

    Toni: Okay… sorry.”

    Cashier: “Yeah, well you should be.

    Yeah I get it lady!! I agree with you…. but I made a fucking mistake! And then of course, as The Munch and I were walking to the car, the stupid hippy paper bag broke and all my groceries fell into the dirt – because a pavement parking lot isn’t organic enough!  It made me feel like the cashier pissed in the bottom of the bag specifically to make it tear on me.  So then I had to shove dirty groceries in my car that was just cleaned as The Munch demanded to eat her muffin on the ride home.

    Toni: “Please Munch… the car just got cleaned… please don’t make crumbs with your muffin.”

    Munch: “But Mamma, it is already all dirty.  See!  See how the groceries are dirty?”

    Toni: “Yeah, I see Munch.  Thanks for pointing that out.”

    The only thing that made any sense to my day was that I would have at least an hour to make voodoo dolls and stab them while The Munch napped.  But of course she didn’t nap because she “wasn’t sleepy” and wanted to show me something downstairs.   That something being a half eaten lollipop she wanted to finish.

    Munch: “I don’t want to sleep.  I want to go down stairs with you.”

    Toni: “Munch, you need to go to sleep.”

    Munch: “Can I lay on your tummy? I want to lay on your tummy.”

    Toni: “Fine…”

    Munch: “Mamma tell me a story.”

    Toni: “Once upon a time there was a little girl named Adelia and her Mamma really wanted her to go to sleep.”

    Toni: “Ummmm yeah… tell me another story instead.”

    LOVE YOU! I am going to go find someone to karate chop.

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  • Sometimes Being Eco is Annoying

    I really don’t want to live in a trashcan of a world, but being eco can be annoying.  To exclusively support organic fair trade local products that you also happened to grow in your back yard, had harvested by virgins, and processed by leprechauns is a fucking challenge.  The other day I thought I would buy some organic cotton t-shirts for The Munch, and one shirt was $40?! When I saw the price I threw up in my hand and then had to eat it because my dinner was from the organic store and my tofu kale wheat-free sandwich was not cheap.

    I know the responsibility is on me to be the change I want to see in the world, but I already changed my underwear today -isn’t that enough?  It is a lot of pressure for me to always make the right decision when there is so much crappy crap out there that is way crappy, but easier to get.  My main question is, why is there so much temptation to poison ourselves with toxic shit?  We have so much access to such a vast variety of products, but the majority of them are actually semi dangerous.  Major corporations are exposing us to some sort of poison, subjecting employees to horrific working conditions, and sometimes secretly feeding people rats they think is lamb.

    So there is plenty of incentive to be conscious consumer.  In fact I consider myself to be a PROsumer with all the positive shit I buy.  Get it? PROsumer rather than CONsumer? Am I lyrical genius or what?  But sometimes I want to be just like ahhh fuck it! I mean I got The Munch this hippy sunscreen because I read that sunscreen, although may protect you from getting skin cancer from the sun, actually just gives you another kind of cancer.  So I slapped the eco stuff on her, and it worked in the sense that she didn’t get burned, but it wouldn’t absorb into her skin.  She was walking around looking like Casper the Ghost the entire day.  I mean that is fine for a kid and all, but there is no way as a self-respecting woman, I can go out in public like a member of the Adams Family.

    Of course when we are talking about green products, food is the one I am most committed to.  But sometimes I get sick of being healthy.  Over the summer I am part of CSA (community supported agriculture) and get all my organic vegetables delivered to me.  They are grown in the most fertile soil and picked by a bearded farming angel.  Yet by time September rolls around all I want is to eat cheeseburgers and doughnuts.  I get so sick of vegetables I want to throw them against the wall, and then waterboard them.

    I know I should probably find a balance and feel peace knowing I am doing what I can and all that…. But what the fuck world?  Why can’t eco shit just be the only shit we can buy so I wouldn’t have to compare it to the other shit?

    (Here I am…. saving a spider and bringing her outside so I don’t murder her…. because I am environmentally responsible!)

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  • Hey, That’s MY Message!

    Information is social currency.  When I send someone a link, or post something illuminating, it contributes to my public value. The Internet allows us not only to spread information but also to become associated with it. It’s almost as if we can brand ourselves alongside the messages we are spreading.

    So last week when everyone was talking about the Monsanto Protection Act I was really involved in the discussion. This is an issue that I am very passionate about and have been researching for over a decade. I wanted to be an active part of the discussion – to help spread the message of why I think Monsanto should be a major part of the public dialogue and we should all have a clear understanding of not only its power but its product.  Our food system.

    I had first learned about Monsanto and genetically engineered food over 10 years ago when I was in college. Before understanding the science behind food, the only thing that concerned me was calories and fat grams. Then one fateful night, while smoking joints with my friend Marisa she told me,

    “You know, the reason why Americans are so overweight and unhealthy is because of partially hydrogenated oil.”

    “Wait, what is that?”

    “They, like, add hydrogen to the oil, so it is fluffier and takes up more space. They can then use less of it and save money, but the human body can’t digest it. That is what makes you fat.”

    “Why do they do that? How do they do that? And who is they?”

    “You know… they!  I don’t know Toni, I am not a scientist… look it up. But I am telling you. That is why Europeans are all skinny, because they don’t put crap in their food.”

    This really blew my mind into a thousand pieces. Before that moment, I had never considered that highly processed food wasn’t actually food. And I did not want to get fat because I was unconsciously consuming a science experiment. Forget that we were scarfing down ice cream at that moment…. We were high – remember? I am perfectly okay getting pudgy eating delicious treats, but there is no way hydrogenated oils were going to give me a muffin top.

    After that fateful conversation I started looking at ingredients rather than the silly numbers on a side of a box of processed food. Initially my rejection of GMO food may have been for my own vanity or health, but the more I learned, the more committed I became.

    I then read The Age of Access by Jeremy Rifkin, and started to comprehend the environmental consequences of genetic engineering. The massive destruction of natural resources, the farmers that it oppressed, the annihilation of biodiversity, the subsidies that forced an economic stranglehold on the entire food industry, and – perhaps most demented – gene patenting. Rifkin hypothesized that the future held forth a new economy based on owning and patenting genes. The thought of corporations and life-science companies owning the building blocks of life and leasing out the rights to it seemed like an apocalyptic nightmare.

    After understanding the full scope, I became outraged. I was so committed to this cause that I spent three years of my life trying to open an organic fast food restaurant so more people could have access to clean food, but in a format they were accustomed to. I wanted to bring organic food to as many people as I could. Even though my vision did not work out the way I wanted it to – I didn’t get to open my restaurant – I could still do my best to continue promoting the idea.

    So when everyone was talking about Monsanto last week, I made a little cartoon with The Munch and me and posted it on Facebook. It started making the rounds and people started sharing it. But I didn’t put my logo on the picture. So then I started seeing other friends post the pic, and other groups, but it wasn’t associated to me any more. I mean it was my picture, but it didn’t link back to me in any way.

    At first I was so mad at myself.  I felt like a missed a major opportunity to drive traffic back to me! So more people would see me… like me… care about me! I wanted to be the giver of the information!  Me! Me! Me! The more I saw it floating around, and not attached to me, the more I freaked out.  Of course the original picture I shared had 1,700 shares thanks to my friend reposting it on her popular page… but that had a spelling mistake in it because that is my fucking karma! (Hey! I know I am using the concept of Karma wrong here, but I am being emphatic so forgive me).

    Okay… pause….

    I found this to be a really interesting example of how the ego gets tied into things that are essentially ego-less. In reality, I should have been happy that people thought the image had value and wanted to share it. That it took a small part in spreading awareness about an issue that I cared about. But as much as my rational mind knew this, my emotional-self wanted to be credited with that message. WHICH IS ABSURD!!  It was beyond ironic that I had the audacity to feel used by people sharing my picture without crediting me, when the message could easily say I was using it to promote myself.

    That is the thing about activism. It has to come from a pure place, and not from wanting to somehow have ownership over the message. Because to feel personal attachment to the information you are trying to spread, is the very same paradigm that we are trying to change with activism.

    “Mamma you are being silly!

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