Sometimes you have to take a stand. If you create a boundary, you have to uphold it; otherwise you will come off as a total pushover. Even when it is hard because the other person doesn’t want to listen, you have to maintain your position. Unless it’s doggy-style in which case feel free to transition to missionary.
I had one of these moments with The Munch the other day. We went to the park to play outside, and like every other day of my life, we got into a fight about clothes.
Munch: No Mamma, I don’t want to wear a jacket!
Toni: Dude, you have to wear a jacket!
Munch: NO! I have this sweatshirt and that is enough!
Toni: Munch, it is winter outside. In the winter people wear jackets!
Munch: No I don’t want to! I will wear the sweater because that matches.
Toni: Fine, okay so lets put your gloves on.
Munch: NO MAMMA NO! I DON’T WANT TO WEAR GLOVES!!!!!!!
Toni: DUDE! If you don’t wear gloves your hand are going to get cold.
Munch: NO THEY WON’T! I PROMISE!
Toni: How about your hat then?
Munch: No way!! I have a headband on!
So The Munch played outside, but after about 20 minutes told me she wanted to go home.
Munch: My hands are FREEZING! Lets go home.
Toni: No way Dude. You can put your gloves on.
Munch: NOOOO!! WAHHHHHAAAAHHHHH I DON’T WANT TO PUT MY GLOVES ON!
Toni: Well, we are not going home because your hands are cold when I have gloves for you. It would be one thing if your hands were cold inside the gloves. But they are cold because you won’t wear them. So no. We are not leaving. You can stand here and cry all you want.
Munch: BUT MY HANDS ARE FREEZING!! WAAAHHHHAAAAHHHHHAAA!
Toni: Then you can put your gloves on.
Okay, so part of me felt bad, but the other part of me was like fuck her. I bought these super extreme $40 gloves so she could play outside in the stupid winter. She should wear them and enjoy her goddamn childhood. But of course it is always awkward when your child is frantically weeping in a public place screaming that they are freezing. But for reals…. She was being a dick.
After about 5 minutes of this…
Toni: Can we put your gloves on now?
Toni: And your hat?
And you now what? She then was warm and played outside for another hour. Teaching lessons is not always easy, but I dropped serious cash on all this winter gear and I am going to be damned if we don’t go outside and use it.
(Here is Munch complaining about her cold hands, and then contemplating how hats and gloves do in fact keep you warm)