It is hard to believe that someone had to teach you not to crap your pants at one point in your life, but it is true. That used to be your preferred method of evacuation, until some sucker that loved you took the time to instruct you to go in the toilet. They would watch and wait for that distinct pushing look, because part of process is identifying that you have to go at all, and do their best to get you on the throne in time. There is after all a short window of time between pushing, poking, and releasing.

I decided to start the process of potty training because The Munch knows enough to grab her diaper and tell me “poops” when there is, indeed, shit balls in her pants. Although I have to be realistic because she is barely 1 ½ so I don’t think she will fully get it for a while, but why not make some effort anyway right?

So far, these are the exciting things that have happened in the past few days that are making me re-think this whole potty training thing.

Event 1: In order for her to associate the potty with pooping, I tell her that I am pooping every time I sit on it. I drink a lot of water, so as far as The Munch is concerned, I poop about 17 times a day. Of course, a new friend I don’t know that well came over yesterday and The Munch brought her right to the bathroom then pointed at the toilet and said “Mama poops.”

Event 2: The Munch usually poops first thing in the morning, so I sit her on the potty right away to see if she will go. The other day while I was waiting for her to poop, I had to poop. I took her off so I could quickly go, and of course she ran away with her pants around her ankles. These were not the best conditions to relax into my morning ritual because I was stressing out about where this naked time bomb went, but once you sit down to start, there really is no stopping. Lucky for me, I easily found where she was hiding because all I had to do was FOLLOW THE TRAIL OF POOP she had left behind on the floor like breadcrumbs.

Event 3: She was playing around in the bath and said to me “poops, poops” and pointed to the toilet. “Yes Munch, you do poops in the toilet.” And then she pooped in the bath.

“Wait… Ma… can you get me some toilet paper? I am on the phone…”

Note to self… poo disintegrates in bath quicker than you think