Peeing in the Bath
Do you pee in the shower? Does it concern you that urine coats your feet when you do? What about while swimming in a pool? Or a lake? How big does the body of water have to be in order for you to comfortably pee, then dunk your head under seconds later? Do you ever worry that you are swimming around in other people’s urine? Have you gone to a water park and thought too hard while coming down the slide, retching at the thought of pee water splashing in your mouth most recently evacuated from the guy in the Speedo with the hairy back?
Although I would pee in all of the above places, it totally grosses me out to think of other people’s pee, and I would NOT pee in the bath. I do have standards.
So this is my issue. The Munch and I have this game while she is taking a bath where she likes to put her bath toys in my mouth. This is a fine game, although complex and highly cerebral, if the only substance on the toys is water. But the other night, as The Munch was standing in that bath, I heard the unmistakable tinkle of pee. I couldn’t ignore it. It definitely happened.
Okay, so am I supposed to take her out of the bath, drain the water and refill it because of a little pee? Of course not! That wouldn’t be very environmentalist of me. So I just let her keep living her life. Then she picked up a recently peed on bath toy, and put it in her mouth. Okay. Fine. Pee is sterile. That is okay. But then it happened. She reached out to put the toy in my mouth. What was I supposed to do? Her expecting eyes and relentless pushing of the toy in my face…. This is our game! What kind of damage would I do if I rejected her? Ummmm…. So… so does anyone have a toothbrush?