I would consider myself to be a diehard-quasi-dogmatic-mediocre-environmentalist. I recycle, but am too lazy to compost, I eat local and organic, but I also eat meat, I only buy eco beauty and cleaning products, but I don’t wear deodorant.

One thing that I am pretty consistent about is saving water. Fine, maybe I find showers and brushing my teeth monotonous, repetitive, unvaried, repetitious…redundant… and often find myself saying “but I just did this two days ago… it can wait another day” but I also really care about nature’s most precious resource. Diamond earrings… I mean water.

As such, if I pee I let it be.

Since I am a girl I obviously never poop so get that out of your head this instant…

Because of my habit of letting my yellow’s mellow, there is usually a pee in the toilet smoking a joint and listening to The Grateful Dead. Sometimes there is more than one pee playing hacky sack and talking about The Man…

I think you know where this is going….

The other morning, I woke up and went to the bathroom and noticed an abundance of pee from the nighttime pee sessions… so thank the Universe I flushed. But then a few minutes later, I decided to pee and brush my teeth because like I said before that teeth brushing thing is seriously boring and throwing in a pee made it a little more exhilarating. Shut up… your life isn’t that exciting either. Anyway…. after said pee, I decide to get dressed and while I am looking for the perfect T-shirt to go with my sweatpants I notice The Munch was being suspiciously quite.

A quite baby is never a good sign.

I ran into the bathroom and sure enough The Munch was playing in my pee toilet.

Now… this is where things get so bad that after writing this I am going submit my body to science and let them experiment on how to erase memories.

An important side note to this story is that the only time I have ever said “NO” to the Munch with any passion is when she throws her food. I then tell her “in your mouth” and point to my tongue, which she in turn copies. Lets review shall we? The Munch will throw food, I will say “NO,” and she will point to her tongue…. touching her tongue mind you… as I say “in your mouth.” You are following me here right?

I think you know where this is going…

I ran to her while her little hand fondled the pee toilet paper in the pee toilet and yelled “NO!” She looked at me… while I was still just a few short feet away… and pointed to her tongue…

Oh the horror….

“I am going for it!”