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  • Master Manipulator

    Do you ever notice how when you go home to spend time with your parents, your behavior often regresses to that of a petulant child. That something about being around your mom and dad can really bring out the worst in you. You get more irritated, agitated, frustrated… just basically more ated in general.

    I notice that if I leave The Munch with someone to watch her she will behave like a little angel the entire time I am gone, but as soon as I come back she collapses with emotion and has a total meltdown at my feet.

    “Holy crap Toni, I swear she was happy as a clam right before you got here.”

    First of all, I find clams to be kind of boring, second of all, why the heck does she do that?

    This is my theory.

    Humans want to stay alive, and they have an innate sense of self-preservation. So when The Munch is looked after by someone other than me, she is her most charming self in order for that person to like her and therefor protect her. But it is a lot of energy to be on your best behavior, so when she sees me, the person she know will watch out for her no matter what, she experiences a total release.

    “Oh phew! Now that you are back I don’t have to try so hard to be cool.”

    It makes me realize just how much of growing up is learning how to manipulate not only the world around us, but also the people. That we have an inbred instinct to act in a way that doesn’t make other people want to kill us. Sigh… it is so tiring trying to make you not want to murder me.

    September 2, 2011 • 1 year old, Baby Brain, Behavior • Views: 845

  • We Are Mirrors To The Universe (Sort Of)

    The thing about being a human is that you have your own will. That is fine and dandy if you are responsible for making those desires manifest on your own, but with a baby human their personal will is a real pain in the ass. When they are infants their needs are simple. “Feed me, get this shit out of my pants, burp me, I have to fart, and put me to sleep now.” But as they get older and begin to have a more complex understanding of the world, their needs mature and multiply respectively. “Give me your phone, I want what you are eating, I want to flush the toilette repeatedly, I don’t want to eat that, don’t look at Facebook.”

    In learning how to understand this new toddler phase of The Munch’s development, I started to read “Happiest Toddler on the Block” because if my baby isn’t happier than everyone else’s I am going to punish her and she will be sorry.

    In this book Dr. Karp talks about how toddlers are like cavemen and should be treated and talked to as such. Like our ancient brethren, they are mostly controlled by the right brain and are highly emotional as a consequence. He goes on to say that we cannot treat toddlers like mini adults, or even mini children, because they lack the brain capacity to process information in a way that is more “civilized” and “reasonable.”

    This got me thinking about how the growth of a human from conception to adulthood mimics the evolution of all species on this planet.

    Think about it. We begin as a single cell organism, then we become a tadpole like thing, then we turn into a fish-like early fetus, then we grow a tail and become sort of reptilian, then we are born and take our first breath of air and are mammals, then we start to crawl around like a chimpanzee monkey type, then we walk around grunting and pointing like an early human hybrid Australopithecus Africanus, then we become kids and are like a Neanderthal, then we are teenagers which is the missing link part of evolution, then finally we evolve into Homo Sapiens as adults.

    Isn’t that so profound? I don’t know if it comes off as deep as it does in my own internal monologue but it made me feel like we really are children of the stars.

    August 31, 2011 • 1 year old, Behavior, Disciplining, Musings, Parenting • Views: 881