The other day I realized that I have never played The Munch any “children’s music.” Part of me feels like “children’s music” is a hoax, like emails form a Nigerian prince, or the moon landing. Why subject myself to kids music when she loves Missy Eliot? Isn’t Pass that Dutch just as wholesome? However, a nostalgic part of me decided that maybe I should sing her some classic nursery rhymes so I don’t deprive her of the experience.
But you know what I realized? Nursery rhymes are seriously twisted!
Take for example “Ring Around the Rosy”
Ring around the Rosy
Pocket full of posy
Ashes to ashes we all fall down
What? Ashes to ashes we all fall down!? This is a song about the Black Death! The Plague! Now, I am all for teaching The Munch about mortality and the realities of existence, but isn’t that a bit extreme?
Okay, so then I try the classic “Jack and Jill.”
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.
Ummmm, so just because Jack is a total klutz, why does Jill have to fall? What is that teaching her about being a girl in a man’s world? Just because Jack breaks his stupid crown, she has to tumble after him? Why can’t Jill just laugh and point in his face?
Next. How about “Rock-a-bye Baby.” That is a sweet one right? Wrong!
Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.
Is this song about child abuse? I am pretty sure The Munch would be furious if I hung her from a tree limb that couldn’t handle her weight? She would be like “Mom… have you ever heard of physics? Can you get a clue?”
Maybe I will just stick with Nelly Furtado’s Maneater for positive imagery and a good example of moral values.