Do you ever have those days where you wake up and already feel like the best thing to do is go back to sleep until tomorrow? Against your better judgment you get out of bed and slip on cat puke almost cracking open your skull. Maybe you hop to the bathroom to get a towel leaving a trail of barf droplets in your wake, clean off your feet and the floor, only to walk downstairs and step in cat puke again. Sigh.

You would think the law of physics would say “Hey, that was funny. I got a kick out of that… time to move on.” But no. It never works that way. Chances are you will get in at least 3 fights, pour sour milk in your coffee, have trash juice leak on you while trying to take it out, get an evil text message, stub your toe, notice your underwear is dirty and have no clean pairs, your internet will be obnoxiously slow, rip off a hangnail that starts to bleed, send an embarrassing email to the wrong person, drop your phone in the toilette, and bite your inner cheek all before lunch.

How come when things suck, they have to really suck?

(This must have been a later vomit… considering the more watered down consistency)