We all crave acceptance. At least I know I do, so don’t you dare tell me that you don’t and make me feel silly for saying anything. Fuck, I already feel stupid. Thanks a lot!
I want to be liked by others. I often feel bad about myself when someone doesn’t dig my vibe. It makes me question if I should like me. And I can always tell when people aren’t into me, and it usually makes me not like them too. Why should I like you if you don’t like me!? SCREW YOU OKAY?
Perhaps the need for approval stems from something much deeper than issues of self-esteem, but rather is rooted in the inbred desire for connection. When I feel connected to others I feel less alone in this cold dark cosmos that will one day expand, or implode, into eternal nothingness. My feeling connected to others helps distract me from the harsh reality that we are all alone in the universe, and that I will one day die and be left with nothing but my own consciousness. But it also reminds me of the beauty that everything is connected in the web of life. To think of myself as separate from the energy and beings around me ignores the truth that we are part of a vast network.
Yet I think that my dependency on the validation of others to solve my existential crisis isn’t necessary. I am conditioned to be aware of how others feel about me, and modify my behavior accordingly, but I don’t need to be so hyper aware of the opinions of the outside world. It just happens to be a socialized impulse.
Kids are way less concerned than adults about how they are perceived, and there is so much freedom in that way of existing. For example, the other day I was asking The Munch how school was.
Munch: It was good.
Toni: Did you play with anyone today?
Munch: No. Nobody would play with you?
Toni: Nobody would play with you??
Munch: Nope. Nobody would play with me.
Toni: Did that make you sad?
Munch: No. The toys played with me. They like me so much. I had such a good time with the toys.
Either that is the saddest thing I have ever heard, or The Munch is just way more well adjusted than I am.
