I have pretty flexible morals, so this whole parenting, teaching values thing is a tad perplexing for me. I don’t want my daughter to grow up to be a little bitch and I know it is important for me to help guide her behavior, but sometimes her acting out can be comical. Yeah yeah I know, laughing in your kid’s face is not in the handbook of “how to discipline your child” but neither is sarcasm and that seems to work wonders.

Recently The Munch has gotten into hitting me when she doesn’t get what she wants, and although I probably should not admit this, it makes me want to chuckle every time. I have to wear a Burka to hide my face and avoid exposing how funny I think her baby rage is. I am not trying to be a jerk, its just that she looks so serious as her arms wind up for maximum impact like she is really trying to hurt me.

Even though I can somewhat manage not to conceal how hilarious I think this is, I am not sure how to make her stop either? I have tried saying “no” and putting on a stern face, but that just makes her hit harder. I have tried ignoring her and looking away, but then she moves to where I can see her to hit me some more. I have tried explaining to her “It is not appropriate to express anger through physical aggression Munch because that paradigm is not only archaic, but also the same sociological underpinnings of this overly aggressive bestial energy that is currently cannibalizing the earth.” But she just looks confused.

The Munch is definitely looking for a reaction out of me, but I am not sure which one is best to get her to understand that hitting is not the answer to her problems. Emotional manipulation and psychological terrorism is. Duh!

“Come on Mom… don’t be such a vagina and toughen up!”