The other day in “mommy group” I learned that most children don’t identify themselves as “I” until around age 3.  Instead they will refer to themselves in the third person, because the moment when they realize that they are in fact an “I” is a huge developmental leap in their understanding of identity.

“But wait, Munch has been saying “I” since she was 20 months. Do you think that is why she is such a narcissist?”

Oddly, no one responded to this question of mine.  I am not sure, but I think most people frown upon a mother calling her child a narcissist.

This is the thing, The Munch is obviously the priority for me when we are together, but she is also the priority for her.  So essentially, we are both looking out for her.  This dynamic can work in our relationship because I am her mom and I have to love her, but if she takes this show on the road, people are going to think she is kind of a prick.

But at the same time, I am reading this book called “How to Be A Woman” which is getting me all charged up in this mega-ultra-strident-feminist sort of way, and that is making me want Munch to be totally in charge of all her wants and wishes.  And now I am conflicted because I also kind of want The Munch to express the side of her that is as bossy, bitchy, controlling, and extreme as she wants to be.  ESPEICALLY IN HER RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN! (Yikes… there goes that feminist fuel coursing through my veins again.  I got to go rip my bra off and throw out all my razors quick!)

Although toddlers can be totally obnoxious in many ways, they also know how to stand up for themselves.  They have no fear when it comes to demanding their desires.  This primal realization that I am an “I” and I deserve the things that “I” crave is kind of admirable.  There is power to the tantrum, and vigor behind the rage. I have to give respect to someone willing to run around the house screaming, weeping, and ready to take on a giant 4 times their size, all because I said “you can’t wear your flowered pajamas because they are in the laundry.”  Toddlers maybe total assholes, but they are also spunky.  As much as I want a polite chid, I also want my daughter to be a bad ass.

So here is my new goal.  Curb this behavior around me, but every one in awhile, allow The Munch’s inner Diva free.  Give her moments when she feels the world does revolve around her, because with a face like that, I kind of what her to give the guys hell.

“Oh… you are taking a picture of Mamma? Let me get in on this!”