Memories are allusive by nature. They have a subjective quality that coats each one with a slightly distinctive film, some more mucus-y than others. We have to strain to remember our memories, and furrow our brows to retain details… which is not a good idea because facial expressions are what gives you wrinkles. I try to limit mine to 3 a day, and only smile at MOST once a week to avoid any lines around my mouth.
Even though everyone knows that memories are as reliable as a drunk teenager trying to get laid, we all insist that ours are infallible. “No! I remember… It happened like this! Exactly how I say! My memories are factual, precise, and accurate!”
But in truth we all rewrite history to serve the specific situation we are in. It is too easy to bend and sway the truth like birch trees in a hurricane. There is no way to prove someone is remembering something wrong and you are remembering it right, yet we so often insist on that being the case.
For the majority of situations we are not being intentionally malicious by rewriting history to better enable our arguments, we just want to win. If the memory is the proof that will annihilate the other person and force them to succumb to your point, then manipulating the memory is a pretty useful strategy.
But every one in a while you come across someone who intentionally brings white out and a pen to the pages of history, or in this case a crayon.
So I was talking to Munch and trying to have a conversation about pooping in the potty, and she was really twisting things around.
“Munch, the reason why you want to learn to poops in the potty is so you don’t have accidents where you poop in the wrong place. Remember when you and Mamma were taking a bath last night and you pooped in the bath? If you were pooping in the potty that wouldn’t have happened right?”
“No! Mamma pooped in the bath!”
“Munch, that is not true, Munchee pooped in the bath.”
“No!! Noooo! Mamma pooped in the bath!”
“Munch, Mamma did not poop in the bath. Munchee did.”
“Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath! Mamma pooped in the bath!”
When someone is so committed to their story it actually makes you doubt your own.
Wait, did I poop in the bath?
“Mamma… that was totally you who pooped in the bath”