I may sometimes throw out the occasional F-bomb in front of the Munch. I might have once told her not to be such a dick. And I can admit that if I say, “oh shit” Munch doesn’t flinch, and just asks, “what’s wrong Mamma?” I am not saying I am proud that I occasionally swear in front of Munch, I am just saying that it happens. Yet despite my quasi-vulgar vocabulary, I have never said the word “hate” around my child.
Okay maybe this seems like somewhat backwards logic, but for me, swears are just accents of emphasis. They don’t necessarily have a malicious or even negative connotation. Maybe that is because my parents had somewhat loose tongues when we were growing up. Yeah it is their fault! My mom and dad and their slutty mouths….
When my brother Laszlo was in the 4th grade, his teacher was giving him a hard time, so in an effort to defend himself Laszlo said “Aw man, don’t be such a prick.” When questioned at the principal’s office why he would swear at his teacher, my brother was confused. “But I wasn’t swearing! I just said he was being a prick? My dad calls me that all the time?” Needless to say my father had some explaining to do.
But hate!!?? I hardly ever say that word even when I am not around The Munch. I might say that I want to cunt punt someone, but I would never say that I hated them! I guess I feel like hate is a dirty emotion – one that I would never want to propagate. The extremeness of hate, what it represents from a cultural perspective, it all feels like poison to the soul. No thing, or person is worthy of hate. Hate is a black energy that assassinates the true essence of the heart.
So you can imagine my horror the other day when The Munch said, “I hate eating green beans.”
Toni: What? Who taught you that word?
Munch: Green beans?
Toni: No… hate! Where did you hear that word hate? Who taught that to you?
Munch: You did!
Toni: Nuh uh! I don’t use the word hate!
Munch: Yes you doooooo! Like when you say ‘I hate people.’
Toni: Munch I have never said that! I may feel that, but I don’t say that!
Munch: I hate school. My teacher says she hates everybody.
Toni: Munch! What are you talking about? Anne does not say that! You go to a Waldorf school where your teacher makes Mary Poppins look like a bitch. There is no way that Anne says she hates everybody.
Munch: She sure does Mom.
Toni: Munch, do you even know what hate means?
Munch: Yes and no.
Toni: Well hate is a really mean thing to say! It means that you don’t love something or someone!
Munch: Well I don’t love going to school. And I don’t love green beans.