If you had long nails, you wouldn’t necessarily scratch your face right? You might use them to itch different parts, but you wouldn’t go around making yourself bleed. I keep trying to explain this to The Munch, but she doesn’t seem to be reading the memo. If I am not careful she is going to look like Edward Scissorhands.

By the way, she is not the only person she scratches. The Munch scratches me too. I look like I just got to second base with a rose bush. The neighbors are starting to talk.

I know what you are thinking. Why don’t you cut her nails Toni?

Yeah. I have thought of that too. But you try clipping the nails of wild beast. They don’t sit still. And you know what happens when they move, you clip their finger!! Ohhhhh the horror that the first time I learned for sure that blood ran through her veins rather than the organic Turkey Hotdogs I ate every night during the pregnancy, it was because I made her bleed! I feel the guilt of a Catholic girl on prom night just thinking about it.

So I tried biting her nails instead, and on accident I bit her finger. Needless to say she was not a big fan of this, and now I sleep with one eye open.

So if anyone asks, little scratches are the new black this season.

(This scratch is so in right now)

(This is her first band-aid after I clipped her finger 🙁 )