Most women will experience some sort of sexual assault within their lifetime. This tragedy weighs so heavy on my heart considering I have given birth to a girl, and when I think of the possibility of someone ever violating her I get so angry I start planning murders in my head. I have discovered that not only do I have the capacity of great violence in my imagination, but I also have some pretty good ideas of how to dispose of a body. Does this make you feel more or less comfortable about being around me?

The other morning I was watching The Munch climb up the stairs and found myself totally overwhelmed by her innocence and trusting nature. The reality that someone could one day take that away from her is beyond disturbing, and makes me never want to let her out of my sight. What is so difficult about wanting to protect your child is that there is no way you can possibly be around them every second for the rest of their lives. At some point you have to trust them and the world even though you know that there are a lot of demented people out there.

The thing about girls and sexuality is that you don’t have to be outright molested or raped to feel totally degraded. It can be a comment, someone exposing themselves to you, (which happens a lot more than you think… I have personally witnessed three penis flashers on the train all when I was younger than 20) or even a sexual experience that you don’t want to happen but don’t know how to say “no” to. There are so many ways a sexual encounter can make you feel dirty and damage your sense of self.

I am not sure what the solution to this problem is. I wish it was as simple as getting The Munch into Jujitsu at an early age and learning how to rip someone’s face off with her bare hands. But it isn’t just about physicality and fighting back because there is a psychological manipulation and trauma as well. How do we empower our daughters to protect themselves?