I want to control what you think of me…

This is an actual conversation I once had.

“Hey I’m Toni.  It’s good to meet you.”

“Hi, my name is Jacob.”

“So Jacob, what do you do for a living?”

“I am a marine biologist.”

“Oh wow.  That sounds amazing.”

“Yeah, well actually I was lying.  My name is Alex and I work in finance.  Wow Toni, you are so gullible.  I bet you would believe anything! Hahahahaha”

Ummmm pretty sure I just met you!  What kind of person lies the first time you talk to them, and then acts like you’re dumb for trusting them?

If you live in a small town where everyone knows you, and has known you your whole life, there is little room to reinvent your personality.  “Oh you mean slutty Barbara who gave hand jobs on the bus and blowies in the library is getting married? She is definitely going to cheat.” or “Shit-his-pants-in-the-second-grade-while-eating-tacos-Steve wants to start a business? But how is he going to do that with shit stains in his pants?”

Yet if you move to a place no one knows you, or live in a city where you are constantly meeting strangers, you have a lot more freedom to create a construct of how you want to be seen.  In a way, that gives you a lot of power to control and manipulate what people think of you by being selective about the material you choose to share.

Of course people can have an energetic feeling about your frequency, and they may or may not vibe with you…. But if you want to hide things about your past, or highlight specific elements of your story, that is all within your power.

Not everyone adheres to this strategy.  Sometimes you will come across someone who has no filter and will tell you the most personal information about how they used to be addicted to crystal meth and once had sex with a dead cat while crying about how their dad never loved them, all while you are trying to get them to pass the ketchup at a BBQ restaurant.  It is like they are experiencing a personal catharsis of self-reflection and have to share their narrative with any one that will listen.  The captive audience functions as a purging to release the burden of their truth and it doesn’t matter they just met you in line for the bathroom.

I have definitely gone through the phase of exposing myself like a naked nymph on the buttress of a cathedral, but now I am more likely to screen what I share.  Kinda like how in this blog I told you a story, but I didn’t tell you how while I was writing it I created a shrine to the wiccan witch goddess and drained the blood of a goat into a human skull and then cursed all who have ever crossed me while of course doing crystal meth.