I am going to give you a piece of my mind, and not because you asked for it, but because I want to give it so you better get ready to slather it with butter and slap it on some toast. You need to know exactly how I feel about you whether you want to hear it or not. The only way I am going to feel better is if you know what is going on with me, and my feelings. I may not even outright tell you how I feel and instead just act like a feel. For example I might act mad or disappointed by being distant, cold, or repeatedly poking my voodoo doll of you while looking into your third eye and chanting Wiccan verses.

We have so many different strategies of passively showing someone we are upset with them so they will ask as “what is wrong” for you to say “nothing” then for them to say “are you sure, because you are acting like something is wrong” for you to say “it’s nothing really” and for them to say “okay then” and for you to say “actually….” and then talk for 26 minutes about why they suck and have the grossest way of eating sandwiches.

Humans have a compulsion to let other humans know how they feel about things. There is a certain irony to this considering feelings are as allusive as political debates. You may feel totally pissed at a friend, but then unbutton your pants to relieve your gaseous gut and forget to care about whether or not they texted you back about if you should buy the next Iphone or wait two weeks for the next Iphone to come out.

As much as it is important to feel heard, it is more important to feel understood, and even more important to feel like someone is picturing you naked. We need to talk about our feelings more than we even need the actual problem to change. It is as if the act of verbalizing something is more emotionally relevant then whether or not there is an actual outcome. As long as the other person admits that “yes, you are right, it is annoying how I am always late” it doesn’t really matter that they will continue to be. They just need to acknowledge where you are coming from, and you somehow feel like the issue is resolved even though technically it isn’t.

Think about how many times you get into the same argument with someone. That is because they may have heard what you said and empathized with your perspective, but it doesn’t mean they can just change who they are because you want them to. If that were the case then I would have four tits and cry champagne.

“Mom… it really bother’s me when I say “no bath” and then you make me take a bath anyway…but not really because I kinda forgot about it 2 seconds into it because I am a baby and don’t really know what is going on.”