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I can’t feel my hands! Oh wait, have sex with them… now I can

The only time I ever notice my body parts is when they feel bad.  If everything is working like it should, I don’t feel the majority of my body. I can’t feel my cells right now.  They are just floating around, bumping into each other, and I am completely oblivious to them.

In fact, most of my body is a total mystery that I am unaware of most of the time.  I know I have something called a spleen, but I can’t feel that thing nor do I have a clue what it does or even where it is.  But if it were hurting me, I would be like “ahhhhh that is my spleen and it feels pain” and suddenly become conscious of it.  But of course I would need a doctor to tell me it is my spleen that is bothersome not my stomach because everything is all jumbled up in there.  Internal organs must be quite slutty because they are in some crazy orgiastic positions up in my guts.

I don’t feel my nose unless it is running, but seriously where are you going because now my face looks ridiculous.  I never feel my head unless I have a headache, and nobody wants to hang around someone with a headache.

Besides our crotch area and skin, most of our body doesn’t really feel good either.  It is not like my femur bone feels delightful right now.  Or my veins and arteries are feeling fine.  Unless something is broken, bleeding, oozing, deteriorating, burning, agonizing, or suddenly gone, it basically exists with my being totally ignorant of it.  I mean I can obviously feel my body as a whole, but to break it down into parts is too disconnecting on both the micro and meta-level.

Pain is our connection to our bodies.  It is what makes us realize that we are even inside them.  I feel my muscles only when they are sore, and have never felt them feel amazing.  My bicep doesn’t hurt right now, but it doesn’t feel fantastic either.  When I do yoga or dance I have to relate to these muscles and make them work, but I do that through exerting them not masturbating them.

Maybe that is why human culture is so obsessed with sex, either alone or with partner(s).  It is the only time we actually feel our body without suffering or intense effort.  The sensation of the skin and sex organs all feels pleasant and therefore heightens our cognizance of our existence.  The pleasure brings us into our bodies in a way that transcends our normal understanding of it.  Unless you do lots of drugs, then you are an another tip completely.   Does any of this make any sense to anyone but me right now?

(This is me dancing and feeling my muscles with Cyndal… check out my armpit hair!! Epic right?)