The other day I decided to take The Munch out to lunch, helping me to develop a whole lot of sympathy for Nurse Ratched. Now, I love her like I love the stars, but hanging out with her makes me question either my sanity of hers. In the amount of time it took me to eat a sammich she…

• Stuffed her fist into her mouth until she gagged and puked
• Tested the sound of her voice by making short sharp screaming noises
• Tried to pull the tablecloth off the table
• Ate the menu, then threw it on the floor
• Cried because the menu was now on the floor
• Laughed at the salt shaker
• Fluttered her lips, kicked her legs and stared off into the distance for an uncomfortable amount of time

Now I know her brain is developing and she is not exactly a fully formed human being, but when I think about the array of emotions she goes through in a day, I almost think she needs Lithium. Mainly because there doesn’t need to be much impetus to ignite one feeling to flame into another. She can go from being perfectly content, to grunting and thrusting her body in protest with absolutely no provocation. And say she is upset and crying, I can get her to be laughing and giggling within seconds just by hanging her upside down and blowing on her tummy.

I have two theories on what is happening. One is that she is testing out the emotionally complex experience of being alive. That part of her development is working through the scale of her feelings like practicing the piano, as she is producing chemicals and endorphins that are necessary for a fulfilling life. My other theory, is that all humans are as insanely irrationally as babies, we just get better at hiding it as we grow into “civilized” adults. And maybe the next time you are upset and depressed about life, get someone to make farting noises on your belly, hang you by your feet, and realize that you are going to feel something else soon so just enjoy the ride.