The most potent motivating force to get someone to do what you want is appealing to their ego.  It is a fail-safe strategy of manipulation – one that takes years of mastery to cultivate the proper nuanced approach.  Yet somehow, my 3-year old has already conquered this meticulous skill.

Being around my kid is kind of like hanging out with a drunken college girl.  She is ceaselessly needy and has absurd requests.  As such, a lot of her demands I refute – because they are not only illogical, but also take extreme effort on my part.  Call me crazy, but sometimes you just want to hang out and not have to catch someone who is falling backwards off a 10-foot ladder.

Despite my best efforts to dissuade annoying requests by appealing to The Munch’s sense of rationale, she has combatted my exertions with targeted, insidious, flattery.

For example:

Munch: Mamma, will you lift me high up onto the seesaw?

Toni: Dude, that makes no sense.  Let me just push it down, and you can climb on yourself.

Munch: But I want to get on the high part.  Where it is way way way way high up there!

Toni: Yeah, but the second I put you up there, your weight is just going to push it down because those are the laws of physics.  That is how a seesaw works.  Your desire for me to put you up on the high one, rather than just climbing on the low one, is totally counter productive.

Munch: But Mamma, you are so strong.  You have these big strong arms and can just lift me up there so easy.

Toni: Well, in that case.