You know those people who insist on pointing out your physical imperfections? They tell you your arms are hairy or how unfortunate it is that you have your brother’s chin. Keep in mind this is not Giselle or Leo Dicaprio critiquing your mole placement, but someone with saggy cheeks and hair like dead grasshopper legs.
I never react right in those situations and usually agree with them rather than insulting them back. “Wow, you are right… I never noticed that my skin is dull just like my mother’s. Thanks for pointing that out!”
Are these people sociopaths? Why can’t you just say “I like your jacket” like a normal person?
It is one thing when you are the subject of attack, but it is another thing when they are critiquing your child.
Okay… first of all… what kind of person criticizes a baby? Even if I think your kid looks like Tony Soprano I am still going to say it is cute! That is what you do!! You meet a baby, tell the parent how adorable it is, and plan what you are going to eat for dinner in your head.
So the other day, The Munch and I went with Grace and Calvin to the beach to watch the sunset. This woman we knew came up to us and started telling us how much she wants to buy chickens but how her dog would eat them if she did. Fascinating stuff right? Shall I go on for another 6 paragraphs like she did?
So she then starts telling Grace how cute Calvin is. Okay… things are going fine… then she turns to The Munch who is MINDING HER OWN BUSINESS NOT TALKING SHIT ABOUT ANYONE….
“What is this one’s name?”
“This is Adelia….”
“She’s got those eyes…” Okay… pause… so far this statement could be taken a lot of different ways. Grace assumes she is going to say something positive about The Munch’s eyes so she interrupts…
“Oh I know they are so captivating…”
“No… I meant the bags under her eyes… she’s got those Hungarian bags under her eyes.”
Okay fine…. she did have a bug bite under her eye… and I am Hungarian from my father’s side… and yes, he and I both do have bags under her eyes, but seriously WTF!