Watching someone who doesn’t know they are being watched is the purest version of a person you will ever witness. You see a part of them that is totally lost in their own psyche, unconcerned with public opinion, and unencumbered by the fear of judgment. It is like being a mirror to someone dancing alone in their room, or the showerhead-turned-microphone to someone singing in the shower.
It is a rare occasion when you can see people unapologetically being themselves… that is until they notice, and then you are both embarrassed. Much like walking in on someone in the bathroom. It is not your fault they didn’t lock the door, but you are the one who is going to feel like the pervert.
Because The Munch is a toddler and you are not supposed to leave them alone for extended periods of time (squares), I have always assumed that she just is who she is in front of me. I figured she hasn’t developed awareness that I am observing her, therefore has no reason to be self- conscious and wouldn’t act any different by herself. It made me wonder when we started to care what other people thought of us more than just being our own quirky selves whenever we felt the urge. Does it make relationships easier if we hide our eccentricities of more boring?
But now that the weather has gotten nicer, The Munch is a lot more adventurous when we are playing outside and often goes on little excursions on her own. Yesterday I ran into the house to grab a book and when I came out she had gone off with my mom’s old Iphone and was talking into it pretending to be on a call. It went a little something like this;
“Hi…oatmeal….motorcycle…hahahahahaha… ummmmmm….thanks….okay….oatmeal with blueberries…. Mama yoga… motorcycle… okay…. Okay…. Hahahahahahahaha…ummmmmm…. Bye.”
She then saw I was watching her and got embarrassed! She pointed to the phone and said;
“Munchee talking on the phone…” and then ran away to continue her conversation. She would then only talk when I was out of sight and with her back to me!
I guess it was a private conversation?
“Sorry about that… my mom was trying to listen in…. go on with what you were saying…”