I may be the fist person to notice this, but no one seems to like it when you tell them what you think is wrong with them.  The conversation will mostly likely get quite tense the deeper you go into why you don’t like their behavior.  In fact, I am willing to bet that most people will then start criticizing you while you are attacking them, and thus not really listen to your analysis of why they suck.

We all have defensive mechanisms when being berated, because that is so much easier then actually dealing with the situation at hand.  Of course it is not like every time someone chooses to explain how lame you are they are correct in their assertation, but it is hard to decipher the validity of their point when you are too busy thinking of comebacks to pronounce their faults instead.  Sometimes people are groundless in their complaints, but sometimes they have a relevant observation that you can learn from.  You may never know unless you spend time honestly discussing what it is they have come to bring to your attention.

I tried this the other day with The Munch, and was met with quite a lot of resistance.  It went a little like this.

“Munch, Mama doesn’t like it when you kick her when she is trying to change your diaper.”

“Mama poops”

“Yes Munch, that is true, but not really applicable to what I am trying to tell you.  Mama wants you to be calm, and not kick, when she is trying to help you out by changing your diaper.”

“Mama poops and pees in the potty.”

“Look Munch, you are getting a little personal here and I don’t appreciate these aggressive comments.  Can you please just work on not kicking me?”

“Kick Mama.”

Do you see what I mean?