If I were to throw a hair-ball at you, would you be offended? Not one that came out of a cat’s throw up, obvi… just a hair-ball I created from cleaning my brush. Oh wait… it probably wouldn’t travel very far and most likely I would have to smush it on you to get the full effect. But it’s not like it would hurt.

Maybe it doesn’t matter if what is being causes pain, like a brick or knife, maybe, just maybe, people don’t like things being thrown at them period. Especially if this said object is extremely gross.

The other morning I fed The Munch oatmeal for breakfast, which she of course smeared all over her face and clothes. When I decided she was done I washed her hands in the sink, took her clothes off, and let her run around while I cleaned up. Seems reasonable right. You are probably thinking to yourself “My Toni is responsible” or maybe more likely “I should eat breakfast while wearing a cape and crown so I really start the day off right?”

I then notice The Munch is suspiciously quite…

I go around the corner and find her in the hall, hand on her diaper sticky… you know… the part of the diaper that sticks the thing together, ie THE MOST IMPORTANT PART!

“Munch… leave your diaper on…. That catches the poop and pee remember?”

Either she didn’t remember, or she is a real jerk.

Before I could get to her, with one swipe she pulls the diaper off and throws it at me like she is a double agent for the Matrix. It happened so fast that at first I did not see the poo fling out of it, but once the diaper landed at my feet I saw what was inside. I looked down and screamed a scream so shrill it was silent to the human ear. The Munch looked directly into my eyes then ran the other direction. With each step she took a poo ball fell from her put onto the floor. Like a trail of poo for Hansel and Gretel to find their way out of the woods, or like a shit path for me to clean up. Depends on your perspective.