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Political Banter
Category

  • Presidential Race 2060

    I used to spend a fair amount of time watching conspiracy theory documentaries. If you watch enough of those at 3 in the morning, the idea that a ruling class of reptilian descendents dominates the world’s power dynamic seems quite plausible. In fact, you don’t even have to be a devote of the 9/11 Truth movement or think the electronic voting machines are rigged to have genuine distrust for politics. You could just as easily turn on your local news and feel the fear of not only your local reservoir being contaminated by the toxic sludge of a corporate interests, but also if the darn kitty will ever make it out of that tree.

    I found the more exposure to information I have, the more desperate I feel. The state of the world is already so precarious with environmental catastrophes, why is it that the people that have the most power, that we vote into office, are not necessarily the most trustworthy. I feel like I have a greater chance of getting a straight answers from a drunk gambler in Vegas than I do from most politicians. We rely on our political system to protect us, but it is that same system that is funded by an industry that prioritizes profit over people or the health of the planet.

    When I think too hard about this I want to bang my head against a pillow (a wall would hurt)… because what can I do about it? I don’t want to be a politician. I don’t like the way I look in skirt suits.

    So, I have decided to get The Munch into politics at an early age. So far she is interested in the philandering part, being a big fan of boobs, but not so sure about all that paper work.

    March 25, 2011 • 5-8 months, Mommy Mind, Political Banter • Views: 860

  • Farts: A Humanitarian Cause

    My baby laughs at her farts. She knows that farts are funny. Not all farts mind you. My farts happen to startle her. But her farts, she finds hilarious. She doesn’t even need an audience to witness her accomplishment. In the morning when she thinks I am still sleeping she will let one rip and giggle to herself.

    What is it about our own farts that are so funny? Is it simply the sensation of air coming out of our assholes? Is it the noise? Is it the possibility that we may shit our pants? Living on the edge of unknown disaster? But she shits her pants all the time and doesn’t give a care. No. There is something deeper. Something more profound.

    Maybe it is that farts remind us of the absurdity of life. That we are imperfect beings no matter how we try to mask that fact with manners and social conventions. That farting is a part of what makes us human, what makes us vulnerable, even though we have conquered the planet with our nuclear technology. Maybe dropping a bomb in our pants while smirking to ourselves is the one thing that all humans have in common? Farting unites us in the simple fact that we are all organic beings who go through life making funny noises and smells, and all are one day going to die. Our mortality hidden in each SBD we try to blame on the dog.

    So what if we got all the men (and I guess women) together who are at war. The people of Egypt, the Middle East, The USA, Israel, Palestine, Africa… everyone who is killing or terrorizing each other. Lets get them all in a room and say this.

    Me: Hey, do you find your farts funny?

    The Warring People: Why yes. Yes. That is quite true. I do happen to find my farts quite amusing.

    Me: You know what? So does the guy next to you. So do all the people you are killing. They think their farts are funny too. Don’t you realize what this means? Can’t you see the people you are trying to destroy are just human beings who also enjoy their own stench? Doesn’t it make sense that we all embrace this ultimate similarity and work together to make sure the world is safe for our children to find joy in their own flatulence? (I would use that world because hey, this is a world meeting after all and I have to look smart).

    I mean, if my baby gets the joke why can’t the leaders of the world?

    (The Munch saying “Pull my finger!”)

    February 3, 2011 • 5-8 months, Baby Body, Baby Brain, Mommy Mind, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 730