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Political Banter
Category

  • Facebook Frenzy

    I logged on to Facebook just now and the first post on my news feed was a picture of a dead guy with his brains blown out. Now I have the image of this guy’s inner mind ejected over the concrete with his body plastered in blood haunting my being. There are some things you can never erase from your memory and forever see on the insides of your eyelids, and this is one of them.

    So it got me thinking about Facebook and what it is really all about…I mean besides selling all your personal information to the government, keeping copies of your pictures for their giant Facebook photo book that is shared with a series of questionable characters, and a covert target marketing campaign that infiltrates your soul every time you log on. Yes we use it to connect to other people, brag about our accomplishments, boast our intelligence by quoting people more intelligent than us, pretend you remembered someone’s birthday, and sometimes over-share our feelings about a break up… but there is something more to Facebook. Something as addictive as it is sinister, as profound as it is superficial.

    Because Facebook began as an exclusive network for ivy league students it has miraculously been able to maintain its cache even though everyone and their mother is on it. Literally… your mom is probably pressing “like” on a picture of a kitten about to fall into a toilet right now. Because of its origins, it is probable that Facebook will only gain cultural relevance in the years to come. It has managed to avoid the traps other social networking sights failed to protect themselves from of becoming cheesy, and has such a stronghold on the market that no one can really compete. Who wants to have to check another platform when you already have Facebook?

    But the question is where is Facebook going to take us, or where are we going to take it? Although I was not quite ready to be exposed to a gruesome murder when I was actually looking to see if any one posted a video with some child singing a Lady Gaga song, it made me think of how potent and valuable this tool could really be. There is vast potential for organization on our part, like a nation wide ban of a certain company, a collective push to elect an honorable politician, or we could just continue posting status updates of what we ate that day.

    “Oooo I got one Mom! Write… “sitting on the counter munching on bread…”

    November 15, 2011 • 1 year old, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 768

  • CHILD SLAVES ARE MAKING YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY!!!!!!

    I just read this article, and did you know that child slaves in Africa made your Halloween candy?

    I know that for kids Halloween is fun as shit… choosing your costume, the candy, the walking around in the dark with your friends, the candy, seeing what other people are wearing, the candy, doing something out of the ordinary, the candy, haunted houses, and the candy. Can’t blame the kids… good times all around.

    But hello adults!!! Can’t we provide all that same fun and not support child slavery?

    Of course it is tricky, because all the eco hippy candy doesn’t come in Halloween sizes and all the packaging is about as exciting as a brown paper bag. If you were to make organic wheat free fair trade chocolate chip cookies no one would eat them because it would be assumed they were poisoned and hiding razor blades. You can’t hand out raisins because that is lame and if you only gave skittles you might as well hand out injections of high fructose corn syrup.

    This s a real problem!

    Maybe the solution is force kids to get imaginative with their tricks? Maybe kids have gotten lazy assuming they are going to get a treat? What if we had a year where we were like “Nope wrong. No candy. What you got kid? Lets do this!” and see what happens.

    It isn’t the worst idea ever right? And besides, is a pillowcase full of candy really a good idea for any human to ingest? I mean I am not a doctor or anything, but I heard a rumor that eating excessive amounts of sugar wasn’t good for you.

    In the meantime… who don’t you lazy hippies get off your quinoa coated asses and make some eco Halloween candy that was not made by child slaves?

    THIS IS NOT OKAY!

    October 28, 2011 • 1 year old, Political Banter • Views: 2101

  • Material Girl

    Do you ever find yourself blaming other people for your problems? Couldn’t it be argued that all your troubles start and end with you? Do you think that if we all took 100% responsibility for everything that went wrong in our lives we could change our world faster then waiting for the world to change for us?

    I am not sure I believe any of what I just said because I do think social conditioning will impact a person’s psychological capacity of being able to create their own universe…. but I believe in it enough to say it with quasi conviction masked behind multiple question marks.

    The Occupy Wall Street protests have inspired a lot of thought and critique of our political and economic systems, which is of course relevant, important, and a great opportunity to use big words like “fiduciary” and sound smart. But I am beginning to realize there is not a lot of talk about our responsibility as citizens for how every thing got this way.

    We, the consumers and voters, have a part to play in this system and must realize that maybe our empowerment is hidden underneath our own addiction to stuff. Why is it that only when we can’t buy as much crap because our economy sucks that people start to really rebel? I understand it is human nature to become more interested and passionate about causes that affect you directly… for instance, would Michael J. Fox put all his time and energy into curing Parkinson’s disease if he didn’t have it? Not that I am shitting on how much of an impact MJF has made, but it is something to consider.

    A lot of the people protesting were once not only a part of, but also supporters of the very same system they are now reacting against. How come it had to take such a drastic recession to push people to see what has been happening above the puppet strings for quite some time? Wall Street’s behavior has been tolerated by the American public because we keep consuming at a rate that rivals warp speed. As any parent would know, tolerating behavior enforces it.

    If we really wanted to screw with Wall Street, what about a week where the 99% didn’t buy anything? How about a month? If we really want to affect the system what if we refused to support it with the very thing that feeds it… our dollars? I am not saying that it would be easy, we would have to be really organized, and it would probably suck too. But if we don’t want materialism to rule us we have to stop being material girls and boys

    “Yup! These pearls are real!”

    Material Girl (Madonna)
    Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me
    I think they’re O.K.
    If they don’t give me proper credit
    I just walk away

    They can beg and they can plead
    But they can’t see the light, that’s right
    ‘Cause the boy with the cold hard cash
    Is always Mister Right, ’cause we are

    [Chorus:]

    Living in a material world
    And I am a material girl
    You know that we are living in a material world
    And I am a material girl

    Some boys romance, some boys slow dance
    That’s all right with me
    If they can’t raise my interest then I
    Have to let them be

    Some boys try and some boys lie but
    I don’t let them play
    Only boys who save their pennies
    Make my rainy day, ’cause they are

    [chorus]

    Living in a material world (material)
    Living in a material world
    [repeat]

    Boys may come and boys may go
    And that’s all right you see
    Experience has made me rich
    And now they’re after me, ’cause everybody’s

    [chorus]

    A material, a material, a material, a material world

    Living in a material world (material)
    Living in a material world

    October 14, 2011 • 1 year old, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 1106

  • Birth As Performance Art

    A Brooklyn woman is turning her birth into performance art by putting herself and her last weeks of pregnancy on display at a gallery. When she goes into labor Marni Kotak will squeeze that puppy out in front of a live audience. Part of me feels like this is major exploitation, but another part of me feels she is brilliant.

    There is a fine line between exploitation and inspiration, which I feel I straddle everyday. I write about The Munch because she ignites ideas I feel compelled to share and it keeps me from boring my friends by talking about her all day. After all, she consumes so much of what I think about I have to get it out somehow. I tell myself that she is more than a worthy subject because observing a child grow is relatable to all humans who have ever been a baby. And then I tell myself to get a cute pair of flared corduroy pants and eat less sugar.

    I feel like raising a baby is an art form worth sharing in the same way that writing, painting or dancing is… so maybe birthing a baby is too?

    My initial conviction was that birth should be an intimate experience, and to have a bunch of strangers watching this magical moment would cheapen it. Yet obviously this woman sees birth as part of her own artistic self and sharing it with the world is maybe the her own living personal manifestation of the art inside of her. And besides, hospital births often have people in the room who you don’t know and will never see again. Who was that guy with the camera anyway? Maybe birth isn’t about privacy because creating a child is actually a very public act? You are creating another human for society after all….

    We also have to think of how birth is viewed in today’s society and why transforming it into art might be very meaningful. For modern western women there is also a lot of psychological and emotional confusion around birth. The way it is represented in the media perpetuates a fear culture that is completely inaccurate. Women are often made to feel out of control and like they don’t know what they are doing. There is so much anxiety attached to the birthing experience that women often lose trust in themselves and their connection to their bodies.

    So maybe this birth as art will be very empowering to not only the artist performing, but the people watching as well?

    But what this experiment isn’t seemingly taking into consideration is how the baby is going to feel coming into the world as a piece of art. Is little baby X going to feel objectified that their vaginal entrance into the world is like their debut curtain call even though they didn’t know they made it through the second round of auditions? Maybe the baby will be an exhibitionist for the rest of their lives because of the quantum energy surrounding their first breath? Or maybe everyone will be in such awe that it will experience a massive injection of collective love? Or maybe if this woman was a real edgy artist she would give birth to soldier carrying a white flag in its teeth because that would really make a political statement.

    October 10, 2011 • 1 year old, Being Preggo, Birth, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 923

  • Occupy Wall Street

    The “Occupy Wall Street” protests are seriously the DOPEST SHIT EVER!!!! I cannot even write how amazing I think this is without using CAPS AND AN EXCESSIVE AMOUNT OF EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Not only is this incredibly meaningful, but also a necessary and inevitable consequence to our current economic system of insanity.

    Can we just take a moment to reflect on just how irrational our “economy” is….

    Companies make products, but in order for that company to make money they have to stay competitive with the other companies who make the same products. The way they do that is by cutting costs, using the cheapest stuff they can find and paying people the least amount they can. So basically you are getting the shittiest shit made by a human who is getting paid shit.

    That would be one thing if whatever you were buying would last for the rest of your life right? But that doesn’t work for companies because then they would lose you as a customer. Nothing is built to actually last because everything is built to last the least amount of time you will tolerate and still buy more.

    So basically, quality, sustainability, and longevity are enemies to corporate America.

    Considering we are currently living on a planet with FINITE resources this is serious problem. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t buy a timeshare on Mars, and I think it would be a better idea to actually RESPECT the resources we have left.

    Mad respect to all of you out there fighting the good fight!

    September 26, 2011 • 1 year old, Environmental Impact, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 873

  • We All Must Be Part Retarded

    Do you realize how many times a baby hits their head in a day? It is not like I have the most extreme baby either. She isn’t training to be a ninja or anything. But I swear on everything holy The Munch hits her head anywhere between 10 and 20 times a day.

    She hits her head on the corners of tables, she hits her head on the edge of the bathtub, she hits her head standing up while underneath something, she hits her head on the floor if she falls too hard, she hits her head if she is leaning too far on the stairs and topples over, she hits her head when she throws it back into my face.

    No wonder humanity does such stupid stuff like throwing trash into the ocean and remaking every good movie from the 80’s… we all hit our heads too many times as babies! Duh!

    (Please notice the busted lip from The Munch not only bumping her head, but then falling on her face)

    September 23, 2011 • 1 year old, Baby Body, Baby Brain, Environmental Impact, Musings, Playing, Political Banter • Views: 8217

  • Belief Systems and Hugging Amma

    There are a wide range of beliefs out there in the world. You can believe in Santa Clause, Jesus, The Devil, Allah, that high heels make your butt look better… People have belief systems of how they should live their lives that impacts their moral code of ethics. We often filter our actions through our belief system to determine our behavior despite the highly personal and subjective experience of forming beliefs. There is often turmoil when people’s beliefs differ even though something doesn’t have to be a fact in order to believe in it. We don’t need concrete proof to believe, because the power of intuition is enough. There is something truly magical, and dangerous about beliefs. Such extremes as people refusing to eat carbs or going on a suicide missions are motivated by what someone believes in.

    I just thought of something. Wouldn’t it be funny to lick someone’s face the first time you meet them, and when they get upset just say…. “oh… you see, licking is part of my belief system. I believe it is the best way to communicate… so…. Yeah.”

    I question my personal beliefs, and the concept of passing beliefs on to my child. Part of me feels like it is indoctrination to force a belief on an impressionable young person. Yes, by living with me I am going to expose her to my beliefs, but does that mean I should lead her to think that everything I believe is true? Would that effect her capacity to come up with her own beliefs? Or if I am too adaptable about my beliefs would that confuse her? Is it better to be rigid even if your children eventually rebel?

    What got me thinking about all this is taking The Munch to hug Amma. From my vast extensive internet research, I have learnt that people have many varying beliefs about her. Some claim she is a saint, others believe her to be an energetic vampire. It is kind of hard for me to believe that someone that goes around hugging people would have bad intentions, but I also believe that deep down Tom and Jerry really loved each other. But despite the critics, there is a whole industry around her including Amma water bottles, hats, and dolls where the proceeds go to her wold wide philanthropy.

    Although I did not feel as if Amma was personally sucking my energy like Count Dracula, I did find the energy of the people at the event to be pushy and aggressive. In kept thinking “uhhhhh… aren’t we all here because we want a hug? Can’t we just simma down a bit and maybe hug each other rather than stomping on my toes to get to your coconut water?” People were literally like “Get the F out of my way! I am trying to get a god damn freaking hug here!” But the actual experience of the embrace felt quite peaceful, not to mention that she is the only human ever to live that has hugged 31 million people! What a unique life experience!

    I guess what I am saying is that maybe I don’t feel concrete enough about anything to tell my child that something is definite. Except for the absolute fact that aliens are living among us and the Royal family is descendents of an evil reptilian species that controls the world through the New World Order and orchestrated the moon landing and 911 because that is so obviously true and reasonable…

    July 13, 2011 • 9-12 months, Adventures, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 1299

  • I Am An Animal

    I have a theory about why mankind is destroying the planet. Okay. Here is goes.

    Francis Bacon is considered the father of empiricism and Western scientific method. In his writings, he talked of the importance of dominating nature. Controlling it. He would even use metaphors of raping the earth. I don’t know about you, but if I had a penis, I wouldn’t rape mother-nature. I would whisper sweet nothings into the grass, slowly caress the trees, and gently lick the ocean. Ohhhh yeahhhhh. Now that is what I am talking about.

    It is not only profound, but telling that someone so influential in western scientific thought had such aggressive beliefs on how man and nature should interact. It wasn’t about cooperation and appreciation, but conquering. Part of me understands why men had once felt the pressure to dominate nature, because they were responsible for fighting off saber tooth tigers, wrestling wooly mammoths, and building shelter to protect their families from the elements. That is a lot of pressure, and I am sure I would have wanted my man to be man enough to beat up a bear.

    But just because we needed to defend ourselves from nature, doesn’t mean that we aren’t a part of it.

    The female experience of childbirth and raising babies has shown me just how much apart of the “animal kingdom” we humans really are. I never felt more connected to the Discovery Channel then during the primal experience of giving birth, and then letting a being eat from my boobs! Every time I breast feed I seriously feel like an animal.

    So my theory is that because men make most of the global decisions regarding the environment, they still have a primal instinct to fight against nature. Baconian thinking is so prevalent in our Western culture, that there seems to be a disconnect between wanting to be safe, and the need to be respectful. Of course, you don’t have to give birth or be a mother to appreciate and understand our place in nature, but I do think that for all the men who are still battling against the earth, a little nipple sucking might help them see the light?

    July 12, 2011 • 9-12 months, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 953

  • Google Must Seem Like a God To Kids

    You want to think of something crazy? My grandmother used to travel around in a horse and buggy when she was a kid. What?? Can you even fathom how much life has changed in the last century? We have become so accustomed to instantaneous communication and exchange of information that to wait 1 minute for a video to buffer is grounds to sue your internet provider. What? I can’t watch this circle go round for a full 60 seconds… that is preposterous.

    The funny thing about my generation, the generation to grow up in the 80’s, is that we really experienced the end of an era in terms of technology. No cell phones, no internet, no Facebook… in fact we still had rotary phones, were limited to 2 dimensional computer games, and cartoons were only on Saturday mornings. I mean… I am talking an archaic deprived existence here. When I had to research a paper for school, I HAD TO GO TO THE LIBRARY! Can you imagine? (I still don’t get how the library works. What is the Dewey decimal system? Was that Linear B? I couldn’t find a book in the library if your life depended on it. I wouldn’t risk my life for such a stupid hypothetical situation. Btw… I will have you know that I was that person who went straight to the reference desk. Thank you library lady, wherever you are, now that you are jobless).

    But think about how nuts it must be to grow up in this current technological paradigm. Everything you ever wanted to know about life, Google knows the answer to.

    “Mom… why is the sky blue?”

    No more cryptic answers… No more pontificating, guessing, or stalling until your kid just forgets what you are talking about. Just hop on you iphone and Google it and the answer is yours. You hardly even have to go to the doctor anymore. Have a random rash? Check it out on Google, find some holistic remedies and put some comfrey leaf on it and quit complaining.

    Imagine how many times a kid will hear a question, and the answer will be “I don’t know… Google it.” Google has become like an all-knowing omnipotent God. Except Google won’t create a flood to punish us humans for being wicked… because then all the computers would get wet.

    June 22, 2011 • 9-12 months, Musings, Political Banter • Views: 1457