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Environmental Impact
Category

  • A Plea For Economic Social Terrorism

    Now that it’s no longer “International Women’s Day,” I notice that no one is thanking me for having a vagina. Where are all my Facebook shout outs for housing a womb to house a child? What kind of shit is this?

    The problem with the current state of activism is that social issues have become trendy. You’ll go on your Facebook newsfeed, and a gaggle of friends who think the same as you will post the same array of information. Once that trend get’s boring, it’s then no longer “cool” to post about. But social issues don’t go away just because they do on Facebook. There is still conflict in Palestine even when Banksy isn’t tagging walls.

    When causes become commodities for social capital, they may get a momentary bump in ratings, but they lose their audience once the next cause premiers on the red carpet. I went to an event the other day where these monks were talking about persecution in Tibet and their need for support and I was like, “Ummm no you’re wrong… Tibet is free, remember? I went to that concert in 1996.”

    We lose our stamina for social causes because we get protest fatigue, and then need Viagra for our activism. In the midst of our busy lives, it’s hard to schedule in “fight against tyranny.” Do I do that before or after I watch the OA? There is a sense of irony at play because the reason we agree to the concept of a goverenment in the first place is because most of us don’t WANT to think about the nuances of how a collective society functions. We prefer to defer to the Mommy and Daddy of our political system to take care of us, (or in our case in the U.S.A., mostly Daddy). Yet because we have given our power over to those that we assume “know better,” we then have to be even more diligent politically to make sure they don’t abuse their power. So in wanting freedom from the responsibility associated with having no government, we consequently lose our freedoms because of the corruption of government.

    As Trump tweets about which gender can fart in which bathroom, he’s simultaneously de-regulating business and allowing for a future of MAJOR environmental assault. Trump’s crusade against “fake news” has strangely inspired news outlets to report on their own fakeness rather than the fact that Trump’s making deals and longterm contracts for his businesses. The way this presidency is going to effect the future is terrifying when you think of how Trump prioritizes profit over the planet at every turn. Beyond Trump’s gross nature of giving chicks the “shocka,” this current regime has ZERO respect for the very real impact of business our ecosystem – which incidentally is the ONLY PLANET we have to live on. We are NOT Elon Musk and can’t afford Mars!

    Half the country is freaking out right now. We see the problematic nature of this Post-Apocalyptic Trump world, and want to do something. I like the spirit behind the call for strikes, but I think we can do more. One problem with the strategy of strikes is that if you are not of a certain social class, and believe you can’t make that kind of financial risk, you feel alienated. Also, there seems to be relatively wishy-washy outcomes. Why wasn’t there a specific demand for the strike on International Lady Day? How about women strike until the Supreme Court is ruled by a majority of women – much like it has been ruled by a majority of men since the birth of this cuntree? But the suggestion to “not go to work so guys realize how important we are” doesn’t exactly change the world. Simply wanting to be honored is too vague. We need be making clear demands, with clear outcomes, and clear deliverables. It’s not like the terrorists in Bruce Willis movies just want to be seen. No! They want x amount of cash, a private plane to get away, and to die just after hearing some pithy comeback like “yippee ka yay mother fucker.”

    So this is my plea: let’s engage in acts of economic social terrorism. I don’t think black people should pay taxes until reparations have been given, and the prison industrial complex has been abolished. I don’t think students should pay student loans until that exploitive system has been re-established and the cost of education brought down. I don’t think any of us should pay health insurance companies or our medical bills until we have universal health care. And if you are anti war, and believe that our military is one the LARGEST contributors to global warming, and terrorism, and is the greatest threat to the future of humanity, then do not pay the 21% of your taxes that go to supporting that system.

    If we all organize and refuse to participate in the economic structure that tyrannizes us, we will be heard. And guess what? There isn’t the infrastructure to come after us individually. It would be a bureaucratic nightmare. We could shut down the White House and Wall Street, and we don’t need guns to do it. We just need to be aligned.

    If we want change it’s not going to be through sporadic involvement. Change comes by kicking the system in the balls… where it hurts… with MONEY!

  • Americans Anonymous Meeting

    “Hi. I’m Toni. And I’m an American.”

    “Hi Toni.”

    Doesn’t it feel like our country is in need of one giant AA meeting right now?? Americans Anonymous!!!

    Are we collectively sucking dick for our addictions? Are we metaphorically living under a bridge selling our souls to dealers? What’s happening!? We are better than this!!!!

    This current presidential election isn’t just about the two candidates we have to “choose from,” but also the mirror it has come to represent of our culture. It’s like we are in an Alice and Wonderland acid trip – staring into our reflection seeing an image of ourselves staring into our reflection seeing an image of ourselves staring into our reflection… forever… into eternity.

    The themes that have dominated the conversation of our political landscape – racism, sexism, xenophobia, corruption, corporate greed, political lies, voter disenfranchisement, questioning of democracy, rape – are all microcosms of the underbelly of this country. Even though it’s painful to admit this, at least we now get the opportunity to roll over of on our backs and expose ourselves… belly in the air, genitals blowing in the wind.

    Currently we have 4 psychological wars going on within our borders; gender wars, race wars, class wars, and religious wars.

    What’s with all the civil wars! I don’t want this! If shit goes down lefty liberals like me are pretty much screwed. We don’t have guns! I can’t fight anyone with my witty feminist banter or new age rhetoric about how we are all connected through the quantum field. The astral plane of existence where I eat gogi berries with Ram Das won’t save me from an AK47!

    We are creating false enemies with each other, and this keeps us distracted. The more we focus on attacking each other, the less we focus on how corporations are screwing us… with NO LUBE!

    When we are divided, we are not fighting for our collective rights or seizing corporate America. We are instead allowing earth’s precious resources to be capitalized by big business as we stand around yelling at each other.

    Part of our complexity is that because we are so diverse in America, there are going to be more opinions, ways of life, and perspectives. Yet I think we are going about things all wrong. Instead of focusing on the issues we supposedly care about, we instead direct our attention to hating everyone. If we were purely thinking about the issues, we would realize that there are ways we could be more tactical.

    Lets take for example pro-life people, who often see themselves as one issues voters. They want to keep unwanted fetuses alive. What would be a good solution to that vision? Get together with gay men who want to adopt babies! Both groups have the same interest, and maybe together they could support pregnant women to go through the trauma of pregnancy, birth, and giving your kid up. United they would be able to give more to these women in a real way! If pro-life people we actually pro all life, and not anti gay, they could really work together!

    There are so many potential strategic alliances that we don’t even think of! Maybe the Black Lives Matter leaders should be a part of the NRA and push more “open carry” laws. Then if all black people could just openly carry their guns, they would get shot less! Everybody wins!

    Think of all these men who hate women, troll them on the Internet, and believe they are unfit to be president. Sounds like those dudes need to get laid! So let’s get them together with feminists who are fighting for legalizing prostitution so it is safer for women to practice sex work. These men will then blow their loads more often, redirect their testosterone, and sex workers could be protected under the law.

    Or what about the people who want to deport all the undocumented people in this country, and build giant walls at our borders. They blame immigrants for “taking our jobs,” and “destroying the country.” Well, the undocumented workers aren’t in a great position either. The conglomerates that hire them exploit them exactly because of their “illegal” status. So what’s the solution? Bring these two groups together to force big companies to bring industry back to America rather than outsourcing it to other countries where their people work in slave like conditions. Then there would be more jobs for Americans, and the undocumented workers could get their damn documents because we would need the extra hands to re-build the infrastructure.

    If we actually collaborated over the issues we cared about, we would be so effective! Right wing men want less government, and left wing women want less government too… in their uteruses! If Germany can make a train that creates zero emissions and farts out water then don’t you think this country can’t get its head of its ass and not destroy the planet?

    We live in a place where people very often vote against their own interests. There are poor whites that think voting for Trump is their best option, ignoring the fact that his polices and tax proposals are not in their favor. His plan for health care is to pay your own damn health bills! Good one Donald! You get it! Then there rich whites who would benefit from Trump’s policies and tax plans that would NEVER vote for him. What interesting psychologies these people have! They need to have tea and talk about why they vote against their own interests and what visions they are trying to preserve!

    Is what we want for this country really that different if we take away the sexism, racism, and extreme wealth inequality? Okay fine maybe there are Christian fundamentalists who are actively waiting for Armageddon and are looking forward to the rest of us burning in hell – but if we were all in hell together, it kinda sounds like an okay party?

    In the off chance you aren’t my Facebook friend and haven’t seen this gem 🙂

    November 3, 2016 • Current Events, Environmental Impact, Political Banter • Views: 692

  • What The Left Wing Needs and The Solution To the World’s Problems

    Like most of you, I watched the debates with an expression akin to what I would look like if a snake crawled out of my asshole, and then licked me on the nose – horrified, but also intrigued. In both cases the main question is, “how did you get here?”

    Sometimes I wonder if Trump is just a brilliant performance artist using this platform of presidency as his canvas for expression. Maybe he’s being mentored by Marina Abramovik to reveal the truth of our country through his despicable behavior and bigotry? Doesn’t it seem more reasonable that he’s the physical manifestation of an interactive live art installation intended to pull back the veil of American imperialism than him being an actual candidate?!

    Where are all the left wing political assassins?? How come assassins are always right wing? Every public figure that has been murdered by some gunman is always a progressive trying to fight against injustice. Abe Lincoln, JFK, RFK, Martin Luther King, John Lennon, Indira Gandhi, Mahatma Gandhi, Malcolm X… the list goes on. Where are the crazy lefties that go around executing people, and why isn’t Trump first on their list? I am not saying I want him dead, but no one has even tried to shoot him in the leg? If that isn’t proof enough that every left wing assassination is a government conspiracy conducted by the New World Order lizard elite then I don’t know what is!

    Trump isn’t the real problem because ultimately he’s just a figurehead. The real issue is that millions of people support him, and they aren’t’ going away no matter who’s elected. This country is beyond divided. It’s fragmented. The corruption of the justice system is an obvious symptom of our collective disease. Police getting away with murder, and rapists getting away with rape is an everyday occurrence. Everything is boiling to the surface and no one can find a lid to stop it.

    The world is fucked, everybody knows it, and nobody knows what to do. The environment is going to serious shit, there are endless wars destroying humanity and the planet, corporations rule politics, and we are facing potential extinction. The reason why we don’t know what to do is because we are all so isolated in our tiny boxes, staring at our tiny boxes with screens – separated from each other and nature and thinking connection is best achieved through “likes.”

    If I “like” enough articles about global warming and Syrian refuges will it all go away??????

    Humans are by nature followers, and we need a leader. I know you don’t think you’re a follower, but you are. That doesn’t mean you aren’t lovely, but 99.9999999% of us would rather be told what to do then figure it out on your own. But if you are on the outside of the political fence looking in, we don’t have a leader – so we sit around finger-blasting ourselves and our phones, waiting for the diarrhea to hit the windmill.

    That was one of the problems with Occupy Wall Street – it was a leaderless movement. I get the philosophy behind it. I respect the impact that it made. A lot was born from that initiative. But in order for people to really make change in their every day lives, they crave someone giving them specific direction.

    Bernie Sanders was the most powerful potential leader for progressive left wing in my lifetime. There was a moment when his light was so bright, and millions of psychologically and politically disenfranchised people wanted him to lead us out of the darkness. We were begging for someone who shared our vision of the world to be our take over. Please Bernie… be my dad, tell me how to take down corporate America, and then hold me.

    But Bernie couldn’t survive within the current political landscape. It’s too corrupt. I’m not saying that because I’m sexist and hate Hillary, but because the status quo is compromised and anyone who can rise to the upper ranks of power is also –including Obama.

    We want politics to be our parents because figuring out how to self-organize is too daunting. There are too many people, and we didn’t evolve to live in such big groups. We are overwhelmed with population, infrastructure, and corporate monopolies. Revolution takes sacrifice, but we aren’t willing to actually fight for a cause because the present paradigm isn’t that bad. Forget the fact that we may not have a future… right now is okay because “Stranger Things” is an amazing show and I just watched the entire first season!

    A vote for Hillary isn’t just a vote against Trump, it’s a vote for the establishment that already exists. Bernie Sanders is urgently supporting the democratic party’s nomination and doesn’t feel like now is the time for 3rd party protests, but when is that time? The first vote I ever cast was for the 3rd party, and everyone blamed us for the rise of the Bush era.

    People who want more than two choices are thought of as irrational and naïve. There is NEVER going to be an election where it is safe to pursue that goal. But a democracy isn’t just a two party system, and there are many countries that successfully prove that.

    The right at least has the Tea Party for their extremists, but the left doesn’t have the New Age party that only speaks in sacred geometry and whispers in fractals. Maybe the kind of politics that I want to see in the world can’t exist within this current framework, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t need leaders outside the scaffolding to shake shit up. The Black Lives Matter movement is proof enough that so many of us are CRAVING a movement to ignite change. We need to take these social movements to the next level and use this momentum to force the hand of those that are destroying the planet with their greed and corruption.

    If you think about our access to connection, we have more opportunity now than ever before for mass protesting. I feel like we need to enter into an era of love induced social terrorism against the corporate elite. We need to spread our message like a venereal disease across all social medial platforms. The 1% does not own the world, and we need to take it back from them.

    We need someone to tell us, “hey, nobody pay back their student loans until we have more reasonable college tuition and a better support system for our youth so they don’t enter the work force with $200,000 in debt.” Or “No African American person should pay taxes until the prison industrial complex has been completely reformed and the police state addressed.” Or no one pay their medical bills until we’ve had a true overhaul of our health system so people aren’t dying because of insurance complications.

    If EVERYONE participated in these kinds of economic protests you bet your sweet ass we would get shit done!!! We just need someone to lead and organize us… and not get shot by the lizard elite! So maybe this leader has to either be able to regenerate, have many clones, or be like the Dali Llama and if one get’s killed another is born.

    So who ever is trying to lead these kinds of initiatives we have to vehemently support and defend! If you know people that are on this level… LET US ALL KNOW so we can get organized.

    October 1, 2016 • Current Events, Education, Environmental Impact, Political Banter • Views: 878

  • Brangelina Divorce And The Shadow of Police Shootings

    Whenever a shocking celebrity event happens there are a slew of people who will care deeply, and then another subset that will be horrified by the superficial interest in such base level gossip. If I look at my Facebook feed, I have my friends who are posting and pontificating about the Brangelina divorce, and then there are my friends who are deeply outraged – wondering why everyone is talking about a celebrity couple rather than uprising over the blatant murder of Terence Crutcher by police. Then there are those in the middle, which seem like the vast majority, who care a little about both stories – but mostly just keep living their lives.

    We feel there is a fundamental difference between gossip about celebrities and hardcore news, yet in reality they are both the same side of the coin – just a different spectrum. It’s all just information about other people. The difference between reporting about Brad fucking a French actress and police shooting innocent men is the brevity of the consequences. But the “news” is all a form is gossip about others –we just tend to be more interested in the shallow because it’s easier to swallow.

    A famous couple breaking up is a story that every adult can relate to. We’ve all broken hearts, or had our hearts broken. It’s a human-interest story because we can identify with it. Did they break up because he cheated? Well of course he cheated because he cheated on Jen to get with Angelina. Or was it the weed he smoked? Or perhaps the hookers that he may or may not have done coke off their tits? Or perhaps it was because she wants to be a humanitarian and he’s more interested in Hollywood? Did they never have sex because all their kids obliterated their passion and parental privacy? What happened??? I have to know!!

    The crazy thing isn’t that we care about Brangelina – of course we care. It’s a story we can easily wrap our simple brains around. The real crazy thing is that we are SHOCKED by the break up of Brangelina but not really that surprised by yet ANOTHER killing of an innocent person. Oh yeah… that happens. Cops kill black men all the time. BUT OH MY GOD BRAD PITT GOT BORED SCREWING THE HOTEST WOMAN ON THE PLANET???!!!

    Even in the time I was writing this YET ANOTHER unarmed black man was killed – Keith Lamont – who was not only disabled, but READING IN HIS CAR! I know a literate black man is a danger to society and all, but COME ON!

    I think this has to do with the fact that most of us can’t truly grasp a large percentage of the atrocities of the world. Our minds are too limited. It’s like dark matter. We know it’s out there, we don’t deny its existence, but we don’t understand it at all. I can easily understand the concept of infidelity in a relationship. We all can. Shut up yes you can… you have either been cheated on, or been the cheater, so get over yourself. But I can’t even sort of fathom the mindset of shooting an unarmed man in the goddamn heart. In no way can I even put myself in the headspace of what it would be like to fire a gun at another person looking me in the eyes. That story almost feels like fiction to me, where Brad’s alleged affair feels like an undeniable truth.

    Humans are innately empathetic, but most of us need a frame of reference in order to elicit compassion. We require a scaffold to build our comprehension of an event around. So when I hear about Syrian refugees I know that it’s terrible, and I want the horrors against them to stop – but my capacity of really understanding what is going on is drastically limited. Never in my life would I treat a person like these refugees are being treated, so all the stories or videos in the world can’t make me identify with what they are going through. It’s beyond me because I have had zero personal exposure to these events.

    Most people are essentially decent people. Not great mind you… but fine. They maybe lie about small things, cheat at board games, masturbate to your best friend while sleeping with you… We all commit minor infractions against each other daily. But most of us don’t murder, rape, or torture innocent civilians – and that’s why these concepts are essentially so foreign.

    The people who seem to be most impacted by the news are those that feel personally effected by it. People that have had some intimate experience, or have direct subjective fears around these stories. That is why it is so goddamn crucial for humans to exist outside their comfort zone and exhibit curiosity about the experience of other humans on the planet.

    You can’t relate to an abused woman or why she stays with her abuser? Then volunteer at a shelter and talk to one. You don’t understand the impact of a war torn country, then get a passport and visit one. You don’t comprehend why all these black people are questioning if their lives matter, then find the mother of a son who was killed by a cop and ask her.

    We will never understand the suffering of the world from behind our computers or TV screens. It’s too confusing to receive content about world events on the same medium we watch entertainment on. Yeah the news tells me innocent kids are being bombed, but that same box on the wall tells me spaceships fly around in Star Wars. Sure my computer can blatantly show me a man with his hands up getting killed, but that very same device shows me silly videos of a bear snuggling a parakeet while wearing a birthday hat. Fine that newspaper has a picture of yet another oil spill, but it also has this really pretty picture of Jennifer Lawrence.

    We have to live life to understand it. We have to expose ourselves truly to how fucked up the world is to believe it. You don’t feel the impact of environmental catastrophe until a hurricane rips your house out from under you. Global warming is just an idea, a concept, until you run out of water and are drinking your own pee.

    We Americans have a long history of allowing trivial stories to seduce away from the genuine atrocities of thew world – but it’s not because we don’t care. It’s because we are too damn sheltered!!! Talking about this shit on Facebook and posting stories isn’t enough. We have to do things outside of our homes, stretch ourselves beyond our normal routine and sacrifice our time – that precious time that we spend liking and poking each other.

    But who knows, maybe while you’re out there in the world trying to actually see it with your own eyes you meet a person who you can gossip about Brangelina with?

    Who wants to look at the yucky oil spill in Alabama when Jennifer Lawrence is sooooooo pretty!!

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    September 21, 2016 • Current Events, Environmental Impact, Political Banter • Views: 649

  • The Left Wing Tea Party and The Church of Conspiracy Curiosity

    I know that everyone thinks Bernie Sanders supporters are their most annoying Facebook friends. Personally, I think we aren’t annoying enough. Just as the right has their Tea Party, it’s time the far left, who believe in the ruling lizard elite, build real political power and replace party members who don’t share our values. I want a congressmember who openly questions the Federal Reserve and a Senator who believes in chem trails. We need elected officials who genuinely question the status quo and don’t dismiss alternative understanding of politics as conspiracy theories.

    If the far right can elect extremists who influence the Republican party, we far leftists need to get the aliens that live in that hollow space station scientists call the “moon” to start influencing ours!

    Half of all Americans think our presidential nomination system is rigged. Millions question if their votes are counted. Bernie supporters are widely discontent with this system, who believe the current paradigm of the ruling 1% is devastating to the future. They can’t just be brushed aside, and need to be taken seriously. We’re spreading like HPV — soon everyone’s genitals will have traces of it.

    The Democrat’s slogan might as well be “Better than that guy, but still fuck you.” This endless war on terror will continue under a Clinton regime and fossil fuels will continue to be sucked from the earth like the enthusiastic blow job of a first date. The prison industrial complex will still shatter communities nationwide, and most alarmingly, the unsustainable profit model of Wall Street and the big banks will continue as business as usual.

    I know the rhetoric “progress takes time,” “you can’t build Rome in a day,” and “always wipe from front to back,” but nothing great has ever been accomplished by succumbing to convention. We need to break the rules and try something new. Maybe every generation feels this way, but holy shit I feel like we are genuinely running out of time. I don’t know about you guys, but I never see articles about the environment that are like, “You know what? Let’s keep this up. We’re gonna be fine.”

    The difference between the power of the far right and the far left is two unifying forces we don’t have: super rich donors who bankroll their movement, and religion.
    Sure we have “spirituality” and 97 recipes for Kale, but the bible ties people together much more tightly because of their common fear of hell. Yeah on the left we are genuinely terrified of gluten, but no one would go to war over that. Yet.

    Not only do we need billionaires to fund this movement, (which might be tricky since we are trying to dismantle the paradigm that empowers billionaires), but we also need a united belief system. I suggest the Church of Conspiracy; political spirituality mixed with how jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. I’m not saying I believe every conspiracy out there, or that sound vibrations built the pyramids, but I am saying I don’t blindly buy the official story of anything. If the mainstream media reports it, I have to question it.

    I don’t think there is some evil overlord named Zolong who is planning everything from 9/11 to the Boston Bombing (although I am not saying Zolong doesn’t exist either). I do think that there are many people invested in a system that is out of control. When the system benefits you, of course you will do anything to maintain it – even if that means selling your soul to Zolong. The system itself is the problem, and the people propping it up need to pushed out of power in order for a new one to form.

    Sure, any democrat is better than Trump, but the ethos Bernie represents if far more interesting and crucial than avoiding Melania as First Lady. I don’t think there has to be a civil war within the Democratic party, but rather an acknowledgement that if we want change, we need to be bold. It’s not about rhetoric or pandering to centrists, but a genuine belief system that doesn’t tolerate greed and destruction.

    I’m ready to join this party! We can be just as wacky as the right wing, but less scary because we will all be a bit tired from avoiding GMO’s all day.

    toni gita floor

    April 28, 2016 • Current Events, Environmental Impact, Political Banter • Views: 949

  • Chemical Candy Chaos!

    I am the type of person that would rather go hungry than to eat food that I don’t like, or is bad quality. Eating is such a pleasurable experience for me, and goes way beyond the basic need to fill my stomach. I want to have a tantric experience with my meals. I don’t want to eat just because I am hungry – I want my wet mouth to orgasm while I fill it with delicious sausages.

    Local and organic of course.

    Maybe this can be annoying for others – especially for those who want to just eat and move on with the day but have to instead wait for me to find the perfect artisanal pizza place specializing in hand foraged pixy farts.

    For example: There was this one time when I went hiking in the Swiss Alps with my boyfriend and friend, and we got really lost. We finally came across a sign that read “Wanderweg” and decided we would go there, and take the train home. We followed the path for a few miles, then came across another sign that said “Wanderweg.” This sign, however, pointed in another direction. We were confused, but followed that path for another few miles. We then came across two signs, that pointed in opposite directions, and they BOTH read “Wanderweg.”

    Toni: Where the fuck is Wanderweg!!!??

    Finally we passed some other hikers who explained that “wanderweg” means “path.”

    We didn’t get off the mountain until 10 at night, and had been hiking for 12 hours with no food or water. When we finally got to the small town, everything was closed except for one restaurant. Inside there was an old man smoking cigarettes and chewing on his hands. He showed us the menu, which consisted of a variety of canned meat.

    Toni: Ummm I don’t think I’m gonna eat here.
    My Boyfriend: What??! DUDE I am starving! Lets just eat! There is nowhere else?
    Toni: It just doesn’t look very good. And the smoke is bothering me. I won’t even be able to taste anything. Maybe we can take the train to the next town? Or walk there?

    And that was the day my boyfriend strangled me.

    And here is a story where my 5-year old almost choked the fuck out of me. The Munch and I were coming back from a road trip, and had been in the car for a few hours. She told me she needed to go to the bathroom, so I pulled over at a gas station. Once we were inside, she wanted a treat.

    The Munch: I want a treat.
    Toni: No. Not here. I can’t.
    The Munch: But MOM I AM REALLY HUNGRY! YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME DINNER AND I WANT A TREAT.
    Toni: I can’t buy you chemical candy.
    The Munch: PLEASE!? What about these?
    Toni: Sour Patch kids? No way dude! Those are chemical kids coated with sugar flavored chemicals.
    The Munch: What about these??
    Toni: Reece’s? Those are just partially hydrogenated oil patties. I can’t. I can’t support those companies. I can’t get you these natural nuts? Or GMO free chips if you are hungry.
    The Munch: BUT I WANT A TREAT!
    Toni: It’s not going to happen.
    The Munch: FINE!!!

    The Munch STORMED back into the car. She was PISSED! When we finally got home a few hours later, she was STILL mad! She went to bed furious at me.

    The Munch: I REALLY WANTED A TREAT!

    The next morning when she woke up, she still had the idea of treats on her mind.

    The Munch: Can I have a treat?
    Toni: Yes you can… but we have to go to the Green Grocer to buy one, because we have nothing here.
    The Munch: That’s too far! I don’t want to get back in the car!
    Toni: Neither do I!
    The Munch: Let’s go to the General Store.
    Toni: I can’t do that. All they have is chemical treats. If you want a treat we have to go to the Green Grocer.
    The Munch: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

    It’s not like she doesn’t KNOW I only buy organic food. The Munch is FULLY AWARE that I am never happy when someone gives her chemical candy to eat. Halloween was a big challenge for me! We had agreed that was the only chemical candy she would eat. But for whatever reason, she was NOT feeling my commitment to quality food this day.

    Toni: Dude I am not saying you can’t have a treat. I am saying you can’t have a chemical treat. The Green Grocer is five minutes farther than the General Store. Let’s just go there.
    The Munch: BUT I DON’T WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG!
    Toni: Can I tell you why I don’t want you to eat chemical candy?
    The Munch: FINE!
    Toni: Do you remember what war is?
    The Munch: When people kill each other for power?
    Toni: Yes… and back during World War 2, the Americans developed a chemical called “agent orange” to kill people. But when the war was over, they started using those chemicals on the food as pesticides – to kill the bugs. But pesticides kill all life – including butterflies, bees, and even birds!
    The Munch: BIRDS TOO?
    Toni: YES! And then we eat those pesticides! And these same companies have also have genetically modified plants, created a monopoly on seeds, and are arguably destroying the farming community. Plus… we don’t know the long-term impact of eating GMO tomatoes with fish genes in them.
    The Munch: I don’t want fishy tomatoes!
    Toni: And you know cancer? Since we have been doing this to our food, more and more people have been getting cancer. It’s hard to say it’s not related. So I don’t want to support these companies, because when I give them my money, I am saying that it’s okay to poison food, poison people, and poison the land.
    The Munch: Fine we can go to the Green Grocer. But I am getting TWO treats.

    “Seriously Mom, can you just shut your mouth hole?”

    munch shutting up toni

  • Can You Sprinkle Some GMO’s in my DNA?

    Now that it is winter, and I basically live in the open Tundra, I have had a lot more time to stare off into the distance and think about the future. Not my future silly… that just feels like a bleak road of endless mediocrity and stalled dreams – the future of humanity! Wait… that also feels pretty dreary. FUCK!

    I wonder what the evolution of our species is going to look like. Technology has so drastically impacted our environment and society that it seems impossible our DNA won’t be affected. Don’t you feel like extreme shifts in culture would force our biology to adjust just as much as shifting natural ecosystems did? If simply walking north was the catalyst for all racial differentiation, how is our iWorld going to influence our brains? What is the exposure of hundreds and thousands of chemicals going to do to our bodies? How are our psychological selves going to adapt to a world where social media takes precedence over human contact?

    At least this is the crap I think about during those moments when I am sitting with my kid spending “quality time” with her. You see… as long as you look like you are paying attention, it is totally okay to daydream about our transhumanist future!

    The other night I was playing in The Munch’s room watching her practice handstands. I observed how she endlessly kicked her legs in the air, awaiting a moment of balance to feel the lightness of suspension. Part of me was impressed by her tenacity, but I was also thinking how I have seen 4-year olds on Youtube dance the Salsa like their feet were on fire. I know talent is relative, but I also can’t help but compare The Munch to the countless of amazing children I have seen on the Internet! Some of who are infinitely better than me at everything I do!

    It is hard to be blown away by anything any more because we have infinite exposure to everything great humans do all over the world. Someone in Uzbekistan can fart so forcefully that they propel themselves into the air, land on a tree branch with their pinkies, and then somersault off while contorting their body so much that they land inside an Evian bottle – and I will see it on Facebook! Then all my farts would seem subpar, and average, as they just blandly soak into the couch. I SUCK!

    When you see someone do something you can’t, the normal human reaction is to feel awestruck, but also inadequate. The prevailing internal monologue is usually “wow, that is cool, but I can’t do that ☹” We don’t all have the natural ability, or commitment to be exceptional at everything, yet we still have the urge for excellence. But don’t worry everyone! I think science will soon change all that!!!

    Because we live in a genetically modified world, I think we are approaching the point were we are going to start genetically modifying humans. Science is on the precipice of making this a reality, and as soon as rich people can get access to this technology, they are going to use it. They will not only manipulate genes for beauty and physical prowess, but also manufacture immunities to best deal with the impending environmental catastrophes before us. This super race will not only be aesthetically perfect and intellectually advanced, but they will also have the biology to withstand the breakdown of nature. Yet of course there will also be a race of humans who can’t afford to purchase these targeted mutations, and they will sadly be at the mercy of natural selection. Maybe the super race will then use the blood of the pathetic unmodified people for fuel… or inject it into their bodies to stay immortal.

    OMG what is wrong with me!? Why can’t I just play “Go Fish” with my kid like a normal person??

    But maybe I need to start saving up $$$ so I can shoot GMO’s into The Much so she can stick that handstand?

    gmo-dna-blog-(i)

    November 19, 2014 • Current Events, Environmental Impact, Musings, Playing • Views: 1138

  • Just Because You Are Privileged Doesn’t Mean You Have To Be Entitled

    My kid is privileged. Not like Kim Kardashian’s daughter North West or anything… she doesn’t have $100,000 diamond earrings, wear designer Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dresses, of have birthday parties where a giraffe does cocaine off a hippo’s tits. We don’t have it like that. But The Munch lives in a house where she is fed, warm, and has plenty of toys. She attends a wholesome school where they learn what acorns are made out of, and the biggest stress of her day is not getting to eat as many cookies as she wants. Compared to the vast majority of the world, pretty sure she has it fucking made.

    I know there is only so much you want to expose your 4-year old to regarding the tragedies of the world – but I also don’t want The Munch to be an entitled little shit who doesn’t understand how lucky she is. There is innocence to childhood you don’t want to corrupt, but letting your kid believe the world is exclusively a benevolent place can also be corrupting. There is a delicate balance between being truthful, and just traumatizing. I don’t think I need to explain the horror of child brides in India, but I do think we can talk about sweatshops making crappy plastic toys she doesn’t need. I am not trying to make my kid fear the world, but I do want her to have a realistic perception of it.

    I try to make these conversations authentic, and come up when appropriate. It is not like I put her to bed at night and whisper in her ear, “sleep well sweetheart… and just remember 90% of the indigenous tribes in the Amazonian rainforest have been destroyed, and every 2 minutes someone in the United States gets sexually assaulted. Nighty night.” Yet there are many opportunities to talk about complex issues and give The Munch some perspective.

    I try to provoke exchanges that help Munch understand that the world does not exist to serve her every need. No dude, you cannot keep the water running in the bath just so you can fill cups with the “waterfall.” Water is a precious resource and we have to respect it. There are children who have to walk miles to get access to water. Yeah running water is fun to play with, but once the bath is full, you have to shut it off so you don’t waste it. Fine maybe this comes to bite me in the ass when she insists I wash dishes with only a stream as thick as a pubic hair, but at least she has got the right idea!

    The Munch and I can talk about resources, environmentalism, the economy, whatever – it just has to be in a context that has meaning to her. For example, she loves to eat candy so we can debate how certain candy has a lot of chemicals, and that is why we don’t buy that kind. The chemicals are bad for your body, unfairly compete with farmers who grow organically, and make the ground all yucky. I don’t have to say how Monsanto products cause cancer or factory farmed meat comes from animals who lived in torture chambers and then were mercilessly murdered – but I can say that meat didn’t come from a happy cow, so lets find another kind.

    Kids are way smarter than we think, and they do have a sense of empathy even if they are mostly driven by their egos. They are kind of like men in that way. JUST KIDDING! There was one afternoon when Munch and I talked about homelessness, and she wanted to know if there were any children that didn’t have a house to live in.

    Munch: Who are they mom? Do you we know any of these children?
    Toni: No we don’t know them, but there are millions of them in the world.
    Munch: Can we see them?

    So we went online and looked at pictures of homeless children, and talked about why some people have money, and others don’t. It is not like we discussed major economic theory or the Federal Reserve, but she does understand the concepts of selfishness, and greed.

    Toni: Certain people have so much money that they are able to ensure that they keep making more money. Once you have a bunch of money, it is easier to maintain because you are running the businesses that make all the money. It isn’t that there isn’t enough money to go around; the problem is the way it is distributed. The people who have the most want to keep the money for themselves, and not share it.
    Munch: Why don’t they want to share? Didn’t they go to school and learn about how it is important to share?
    Toni: Well they did. But it isn’t just about the money. Money also means you have power. And people want power.
    Munch: But is the power more important than children? Why can’t the people with money give money to the children so they can have houses?
    Toni: Well, that is a good point. But it isn’t just the people that need to change. It is also the systems.
    Munch: But who makes the systems?
    Toni: The people.
    Munch: So pretty sure the people just need to change – then there will be no more children who don’t have homes.

    (Turn off that fucking bath water!!)

    privilidge-blog-(i)

  • Swimming In Bacteria Like a Boss

    Okay. So I totally fucked up. But it’s not totally my fault. It is also nature’s fault… and global warming… and all the politicians/corporations/bankers who are ass fucking the planet. But I guess it is also my fault too.

    This is what happened. I live on a lake. It is a beautiful clean mountain lake. I have always thought it was a magical, healing, energetically pure body of water. It never occurred to me to doubt its virtue. The other day my baby sitter, Lilliana, brought The Munch to the beach to go swimming and was told not to go in because of bacteria contaminating the water. When Lilliana texted me this information I was like, “what the holy dick hole. I don’t believe this shit. I have never heard of this in my life. NEVER in 30 years on this lake have I been told not to swim because of bacteria! That is some serious yuppie bullshit!!”

    I just didn’t believe the hype, and quite arrogantly considering I did ZERO research on the subject. Had I just taken… oh… I don’t know… 3 minutes on the Internet all my questions would have been solved. But NO! I was NOT going to be told that I couldn’t swim in the damn lake I have been swimming in my whole damn life.

    Okay so this is where shit got bad. Later that afternoon when I went to pick up Munch she mentioned our plan to go swimming that we had made earlier that morning before this whole debacle.

    Toni: Do you think we should care about the bacteria in the water?
    Munch: Nope.
    Toni: Cool. I am going to trust you because you have the wisdom of a 4-year old. Forget the fact that I am an adult who can and should research potentially dangerous situations. Lets do this because you, my child, say its cool.

    And we drove straight to the bacteria filled beach.

    Okay, so here is a little context. For one… august has been cold as fuck. New England weather already sucks, and our summer has been uncharacteristically short. It didn’t get warm enough to swim until July, and then we had a serious cold rainy front for most of August. Essentially we got dicked out of summer and our only swimming time. After days and days of crappy weather, it was finally a nice day to swim. To not go because of some cryptic threat seemed ludicrous.

    Then next influence is my overall denial of drastic changes in the environment. I know they exist – but I don’t want to actually believe it. I see all those kids wearing sun shirts to protect their skin from the hole in the ozone, but I keep going back to the fact that I never wore sunscreen when I was a child… so what is the big deal? It is this stubborn renouncing of obvious truths because to admit reality is too painful. Yeah maybe when I was a kid the lake wasn’t contaminated, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t now.
    Here is another element of the equation that maybe is less nature’s problem and more mine. I felt SUPER guilty about how much I have been working all summer, and wasn’t feeling like I spent enough time doing stuff outside with Munch. The fact that the season was almost over, made me feel like I didn’t appreciate it. The months went by so fast, and I spent an ample of amount of time inside working trying to make something out of my life. It was this crippling realization that my relentless ambition kept me from enjoying the fleeting warm months with my child.

    The last contributing factor to this scene is the “Holly” in me. You see, my mom –Holly- has a very particular approach to life. She is they type of woman who has mustard from the 80’s that she will put in your sandwich – ignoring the fact it expired 15 years ago – and rationalize eating it because fermentation or whatever. She has fed me rice with maggots unknowingly cooked in, because hey protein. She doesn’t measure when she cooks because measuring is for pussies. She let me ride in the back of a pick up truck because you know, safety is for weak. My mom just doesn’t give a fuck. She operates on her own frequency, and her attitude has obviously impacted my psychology.

    So being told I couldn’t swim because of some stupid bacteria seemed absurd! Forget the fact that NO ONE was at the lake. Never mind the water was eerily still and I could see the algae floating on the surface. Munch and I went anyway, had a wonderful swim, and watched the sunset.

    Sooooooooooooo…

    The next morning The Munch felt a little off. Her throat hurt, her tummy was cramping, but she seemed to pull through after breakfast so I totally forgot about it.

    Later that afternoon we again went to the beach. I assumed whatever silly little water thing HAD to be cleared up by now because it was all so ridiculous any way. Buuuuuut…. yet again it was closed. Yet this time though, there was a GIANT sign explaining what was going on with the water. So yeah…. I spend a moment looking it up, and it turns any contact with this bacteria can make you sick as fuck – including skin rashes, fever, sore throats, and stomach problems.

    Ummmm whoops.

    After I read that, I couldn’t help but feel sick myself. I couldn’t tell if it was in my paranoid head, or it was because I HAD BEEN SWIMMING IN BACTERIA FILLED WATER LIKE AN OVERCONFIDENT FOOL!

    So my guilt about not playing outside enough with my kid quickly transformed into guilt about maybe poisoning her with bacteria infested water. Luckily, she seems fine and never got to the explosive diarrhea or anal leakage stage… thank god Munch has been eating over at mom’s house having old mustard sandwiches with maggot filled rice to build her immune system.

    bacteria-blog-(i)