You know how they say that what one of the main distinguishers of man is the fact that we are bipedal? Somehow, walking on two feet makes us superior to our fellow four legged animal friends. Why is that? Perhaps this is because when on all fours the head and ass are on the same level, rather then while walking upright, the head is above the ass area. Maybe being on all fours means that your head is getting the same blood flow as your ass, meaning that you are about as smart as your butt. That is what I think about my baby right now.

Crawling is stupid. In fact, it is the stupidest thing in the world.

The Munch can move around where ever she wants, but what she wants is so stupid that her head must be up her ass. “I want to pull this computer thingie off the table, I want to crawl behind the toilette and get stuck and then cry about it, I want to pull everything out of this cabinet then close my finger in the door and freak out about that, I want to crawl over to where you are and pinch you even though you keep moving every time I get to you. If you are trying to hint at something, I am not getting it. Where are you going? Well here I come!”

Maybe if there were some logic or reason to her movement it would tolerable. But there isn’t. She is about as reasonable as a drunk fundamentalist at an Atheist abortion clinic. What kind of cruel world would allow this? Why don’t humans learn to crawl when they have some actual brain capacity to reason? Like when they are 20… after those silly teenage years. My friend Grace told me it only gets worse when they start walking because they have a greater reach. Dare I say that I am starting to understand the thinking behind Chinese foot binding?