There have been a lot of celebrity public apologies lately – Jonah Hill, Donald Sterling, Paula Dean, Justin Bieber… all having to announce to the world “whoops – didn’t mean to say that.” Where politicians are often forced into a state of remorse because of getting caught for their sexcapades, these celebrities are all saying sorry for spouting bigotry out of their mouths.
We, the public, then judge these celebrities and rate their apologies on level of sincerity. There is a gradation of genuine regret, but the overall logic is usually consistent. “I didn’t realize the power of words.”
Ummmm what? Haven’t you guys ever watched “What the Bleep Do We Know?” or seen the water experiment where Dr. Masaru Emoto takes pictures of water molecules? He shows how the molecules look all pretty when enclosed inside containers that have nice words on them, but they get all wonky and distorted when in containers with ugly hateful words. So if these tiny particles actually change their molecular make up because of the words taped to the damn jar, how can we claim ignorance of their power?
Okay fine, maybe you are not a nerd who watches quantum physics documentaries – but we are all familiar with the term verbal abuse. It is not like there isn’t major discussion about the N-word, C-word, or F-word in the public dialogue. We all are taught the concept of appropriate and inappropriate language. So to claim obliviousness seems like a lame excuse.
We live in a country that prides itself on freedom of speech. It is our first amendment! Yet this is the conundrum. We want to be able to say whatever we want, but we also want to hold people accountable for what they express. We have contradictory confused relationship with words exactly because as a culture we acknowledge their impact. We value words deeply as an idea, but in practice we tend to abuse, mishandle, and degrade them for our personal use.
Regardless of the words we choose to use, the real question is why are we saying them? Whether you spew negativity from the offense or defense, the motive is what matters. Verbally eviscerating someone is often more damaging than physically, because it can bleed into their psyche. What all these celebrities are examples of are examples of what we all have experienced many times in our lives. How people say really mean shit to each other.
As a culture we still do operate on a paradigm of “the other.” Seeing people of another race as “lesser than,” or using a sexual orientation as an insult even if you don’t feel like a homophobe. It is all the same mentality. That which is not me is worse than me.
Apologies at least attempt to rectify a situation by admitting fault – but it doesn’t exactly eradicate the original reason the words were said. We need to address not only why did you say that, but also why do you feel that way? Even if Donald Sterling never says anything offensive ever again, that doesn’t inherently mean he feels any differently. In this PC culture we are good at policing each other for our belligerent comments, but not so proficient at addressing the root source of systemic prejudice.
It is not like the offensive words spoken are words these celebrities have never used before. Even when in the midst of an intense argument, I still don’t spout insults that have never come out of my mouth on any occasion. Even if it is hard to admit or apologize for, the slurs were most likely part of their vocabulary – just not on camera.
