You know what is funny about the concept of “self help” books? It that the self is not helping the self if you are getting all your advice from some other shmoe? Aren’t they just more “the sucker who is totally lost in life” books? That being said, I love self-help books!

I am the perfect candidate for books written by “experts” on subjects that are totally subjective because I tend to be convinced by everything I read. If someone is a good writer, I will sit there nodding my head thinking “yes… yes… that makes perfect sense… men are from mars. That explains everything!”

What makes these books so effective is their audience. They appeal to the type of person who admits to their own confusion, and is actively looking for a perspective to help. The irony of this dynamic, is that anyone who is seeking guidance is by nature open minded, therefore very easy to influence.

For me, it is all about context. Anything can make sense within the context of which it is presented. That is why parenting books are so confusing to me. They are all written in a way that suggests what they are stating is a morally superior perspective, and your child will suffer if you stray from their advice.

For instance, I read one book by the Tiger Mom, who is an advocate for the Chinese parenting style. In short, you push your kid to be the best at everything they do, shame them when they fail you, and have expectations that would make Steven Hawking look like a slacker. I found all this to make a lot of sense until I started reading “Unconditional Parenting.” They advise not to emotionally manipulate your kids into behaving the way you want them to, don’t try to control them by withholding love, and realize that some rebellion is part of being a dynamic human. This also had me convinced. So how can two contradictory sentiments ring absolutely true for me?

I find this to be very intimidating, because unlike a puppy, a child will be able to criticize you for being a bad parent. And in practice, I don’t know how any of this is going to work. To be honest, every time I say “no” to The Munch she cries, and I either laugh because she looks so cute, or feel so bad I just give her back my phone to chew on. I think I need to find a self-help book that helps people best understand how to read self-help books critically.

“Hmmmmm lets see what they have on Amazon for you mom…..”

“Oh I found one! It’s called “Get Your Head Out of Your Ass and Pay Attention to Me!” I am just gonna buy this one for you.”