No relationship is effortless.  Having functional dynamics with people depends on how willing you are to work for it.  You are never going act exactly how another person wants you to, and no one is ever going to be your ideal company.  Intimacy demands compromises.  So much so, that often you just want people to acknowledge the fact that you are trying to do what they want.

“Can’t you see I am trying?”

How many times have you said, or heard that?

And sometimes trying is all you are going to get with people. They don’t live in your head and know all your needs, wishes, and desires.  You may try to explain it to them, but how are they ever going to fully actualize your vision of how you want them to be?

And of course trying can be exhausting and emotionally wearing, especially when someone doesn’t appreciate your tries.  At least if your tries are acknowledged there is some meaning to the madness.  But when your tries go unnoticed that is when you can start to feel like you are taking crazy pills.

For instance, when I am dealing with the incessant irrational demands of The Munch, who has endless requests for me to enact… acts that literally make no sense.

“Mamma, put the stroller on the table.”

“Fine, here you go.”

“Nooooo Mamma, no stroller on the table.”

“Okay, I will take it down.”

“Noooo Mamma, put stroller on the table.  STROLLER ON THE TABLE! Waaaahhhhhaaaahhhhh”

“Okay Munch, here, the stroller is back on the table.”

“Mamma, put the plate in the stroller.  The plate in the stroller.”

“Okay… here, the plate is now in the stroller.”

“Put napkin on stroller Mamma.”

“Sure… napkin on stroller.”

“And tomato”

“Uhhhhh, let me find one.  Okay, done. Tomato, napkin, and plate all in the stroller… which is on the table.”

“Nooooo Mamma! Munchee needs plate.  I NEED THE PLATE! Waaaahhhhhahhhahaaa! I NEED THE PLATE”

“Okay Munch, don’t cry! Here, you can have the plate!”

“I need stroller too.”

Another example of my relentless trying… Munch and I went to the beach together….

“Mamma, get in the water.”

“Ok.”

“No Mamma! No Mamma in water!”

“Munch, I am already in the water, you are not the boss of me okay.”

“Okay. Mamma, drink the lake water.”

Sigh….