I have been burning the candle at both ends, which is weird because now I have to hold this candle horizontally and wax is getting everywhere.  I have been dealing with this fever and three-day head ache while also trying to live my life, and I feel like I am wading through molasses while wearing flippers with my feet tied together.

So I was complaining to one of my wisest sages about this feeling of total depletion, and their response has haunted me all day.

“Well Toni, being a mom is a full time job.”

I know that is a cliché statement, and also quasi annoying and pretentious- but it is true.  Having a child pushes your patience levels to maximum capacity and beyond.  You have to think about their needs constantly, manage the lunacy of their emotions, clean up after them, cook their every meal, dress them, wash them, entertain them, and keep them alive.  It is a lot of work unconditionally loving another being.

So when you have another job, some artistic passion you want to pursue, a physical practice that nourishes your body and soul, it is like every second of your day is planned activity.  I love dancing, I love making movies, I love writing, but all those are secondary to the working part of life, and the caring for Munch part of life.  So when I try to manage all those things, I guess sometimes my body can’t handle it.  I hate to admit that, because it makes me feel like a big baby, but I don’t know how else to explain how often I seem to break down.  Or maybe I just have crappy genes.  SORRY MUNCH!