I’m the type of person, who says “I’m the type of person.” But I am also the type of person where if you invite me to your house, I start picking up your things and looking through your stuff. There is no reason behind my actions. I am not searching for cocaine or porn. Maybe it is an unconscious act of getting to know you through your possessions? However, if I were to say… drop your Ipod in a glass of water, knock over a mirror, or visibly infuriate you, I would probably stop.

When you put a baby down, the first thing they do is take off to touch any and everything they set their little doe eyes on. They are like tiny tornados, destroying everything in their path. “Oh look, a curtain, let me just pull on that till it rips down. Wow, is that a TV? I think I will bang on this till I cover every inch with my sticky handprints. No way! A glass vase! I am just going to knock this off the table so it shatters on the kitchen floor, then cry about the loud noise that scared me. Awesome!”

I realize that as an adult, you are much more sensitive to the needs of others than a baby. And by sensitive I mean self-conscious that that someone won’t like you if you continue doing what you want. I get that they are exploring the world and not aware that they are being super annoying. I just wish that sometimes they would stop after they found all the cocaine and porn and take a breather.

“What? So you didn’t want me to do this?”