The relationship between humans and wild animals is as complex as the dynamic between an impotent man and a porn star. There is a desire to touch, the frustration of not being able to catch them, and an intense fear of what would happen if you did. I have always wanted to hug a bear, but like a soft man with a rock hard pair of tits, after the initial embrace then what? Total disappointment…
In my bear hugging scenario the disappointment would be because I was getting eaten alive, and that is where this analogy breaks down.
The thing about wild animals that is so… uh…. wild…. is that they cannot ever truly be tamed. They can be controlled to some extent, but there are always instances where the animal remembers “Hey, I could totally kill you if I wanted. I think I am going to try.” The unpredictability of animals is what can make them so frightening and maybe that is why people have such irrational fears of them. Why else I am scared of a cute little mouse? No… not because I am a pussy thank you very much, but because I have no idea where that little creature is going, and what if it tries to crawl up my leg? That would tickle!
When you think about Zoos, aquariums, or circuses, the interest is in being able to see these mysterious beings within the confines of safety. But isn’t there something unsatisfying about looking at a shark in a tank, or a lion in cage? Not only is the mystique squelched, but there is a sorrow in their eyes that cannot be ignored and cries “Why are you doing this to me?” It is hard to connect with an animal that sort of hates you for looking at them.
Maybe we domesticate animals so we can share their animal energy without the guilt of forced captivity. My dog needs me. She would never be able to survive on her own… without blankets, wet dog food, and chewie toys. It is through our relationship with domesticated animals that hopefully we can come to greater appreciate the ones that we cannot directly communicate with.
The ultimate lesson I have learnt from my dog is that animals are highly emotionally intelligent. They know when you are upset, and have an instinct to comfort and look insanely cute when you need them most. They also want to protect what is vulnerable. I had a friend come and visit who is preggers, and my dog Mona spent the entire time cuddling and protecting her womb. She would even bark at me when I got too animated!
Although I find most vegans pretty annoying, I have to respect their cause because eating animals is an undeniable moral quandary. Is there really that much difference between eating a hamburger or a human hotdog? Mmmmmmmm that actually doesn’t sound that bad!
“Nobody near this uterus or dolly!”
