The other night I participated in a panel about parents who “over share” about their kids.  I guess considering how much I write about myself and child I could be viewed as an emotional exhibitionist, but I had never really considered myself to be “over sharing” until now.  Looking back on the experience of this panel, I feel like I was representing not only the “over sharing” parent, but also one who is totally outrageous and borderline inappropriate.

Am I really that fucking offensive to mother-fuckers?

The conversation was about the idea of blogging about your children, and the potential long-term impact of putting them in the public space without their consent.  Now this is a topic I have thought about, and written about, because I do think there is a moral and philosophical conundrum that is taking place.  I know The Munch is unaware that I am publicizing intimate stories about our lives accompanied by pictures of her cute little face.  I am making an executive decision that may or may not impact her in the future, and may or may not affect her currently in the quantum universe.  I am not denying that there may be energetic consequences that I am ignorant of.  I am creating a permanent record of her life and have no control over who reads it or looks at her.  On the one hand it is beautiful that she has this detailed narrative of growing up, but on the other hand there is a detailed narrative of her growing on the internet.

So am I being selfish by unabashedly writing about my life and the life of my child? Maybe I am?  But she is my life, my inspiration, my muse; she is constantly on my mind and in my heart, so how can she not be content to my writing?  Maybe that is unfair, but I am a writer and everyone in my life is a potential subject matter.  Writing about my experience raising my child is not just about exploiting her, but because I am having a first hand experience of watching someone grow from a baby to an individual person.  There is so much I observe everyday with her that I feel is relevant to the human experience.

I get that my style may be crass at times, and the way I word things is provocative.  I have never been one to take myself seriously, and perhaps that makes it hard for others to as well?  I have a tendency to be shocking, but that is also the culture of my family.  The Davidson side (my mom’s father’s family) are some wild people who have no filter and speak their minds unashamedly.  My grandfather would walk around naked at 70 years old and tell his son’s wife that her wedding was boring and too cold.  So there is this part of me that says things that I know will be offensive, but at least it will get a rise out of someone and that makes me feel alive.  Maybe it is a fear of being conventional, but I would almost rather push someone’s buttons then not be remembered at all.

Okay, but is this the best strategy when dealing with live interviews?  Ummmmm maybe not. And maybe at one point I kind of implied that The Munch is going to for sure need therapy but that I don’t really give a care because my writing is more important.  But I was only half serious.  I do think this issue is complex, and maybe something I am going to deal with down the road, but I am pretty sure they way I said it didn’t come off so well.  I guess being overly self-deprecating can also make you look like a crazy person.

So in the end… maybe my personality needs to be more filtered and strategic.  Maybe being brutally honest can make you look bad.  Maybe I need to be more polished and censored.  Or maybe…. Ahhhhh… fuck it.

Here is the link if you want to check it out and have 20 min!