Actually, Can You Say That Behind My Back?
Why do we have the compulsion to tell each other why we don’t like each other? Don’t you feel like you hear more about what people don’t like about you than what they do? Especially in an intimate relationship with a lover or close friend… aren’t you always reminding each other of the problems rather than the love?
“You NEVER clean up after yourself…. It is so annoying…”
“Well you ALWAYS nag and bitch about everything, and that is so annoying…”
“Yeah… maybe because I am FOREVER picking up the pieces of your broken life…”
“That is because you are INCAPABLE of facing yourself and dealing with your own problems so you use me as a distraction.’
“Oh… really… well you suck…”
“No… YOU SUCK.”
All the little things that makes us mad about each other are just microcosms of larger issues, so why do we bother sweating the small stuff? If you are not willing to address the root cause of the problem, then why not let the miner things go? And there is a big difference between expecting someone to change who they are, and wanting them to change their behavior towards you. It is much more likely someone can evolve in terms of how they treat you, than expecting them to personally transform over night. Besides, people are more likely to change their behavior through observing how you treat them rather than forcing them to be different.
And can you ever really change another person by making them feel bad about them selves and verbally attacking them? What are we doing when we point out another person’s faults? Is it about controlling them? Trying to control not only how they act but how they feel about you as well? I for one don’t have a problem with being controlling so these questions are just rhetorical. Wait… stop reading my blog so fast… slow down… not that much, now you aren’t going to get the cadence… just a little slower… No faster than that…. Not that much…