When I am around a kid that is not mine I feel the pressure to entertain them, play with them, ask questions and pretend to care about their answer that has nothing to do with what I asked. “Yeah, that’s great that your Teddy likes pancakes, but do you like gymnastics or what kid?” But with Munch I often find myself putting in less effort to be her personal Ipad of fun filled fantasy and adventure because I am afraid she is going to anticipate that out of me all the time. I want your kid to think I am next level fantastic, but I want to manage the expectations of mine.
The hard thing about a relationship with someone you spend a lot of time with is that it is difficult to put in maximum exertion 24/7. The more non stop time I spend with The Munch, the more I am waiting for the moments that she is entertaining herself so that I can do the same. Instead of relishing in play time with her I am trying to find ways to distract her to think of something else besides me.
This past week that The Munch has been sick I have been with her all day and night and it has was driving me to the point of near insanity. Of course she hasn’t been herself because she was so ill, but my tolerance for pointing out how many ducks are in the bath or going over what color the kitties are has brought me to a place of total darkness within my soul.
Now that she is finally starting to get a little better I almost threw her at the babysitter as I ran out of the house with the intention of getting to Burma before I stopped for water.
That is why spending time apart from The Munch is so important. It gives me a chance to miss her. To want to play ring- around- the rosie 47 times in a row even if I am the only one who falls down while she just stands their laughing at me with a look of smug superiority. It is so much easier to value your relationship with your kid when you have had the space to regain energy. More than anything I know these years are going to go by fast even though the hours can linger, and I don’t want to waste these precious moments with My Munchee.
