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A Baby Can Make You Mad

Close your eyes and picture a baby. Now open them because how are you going to read this with your eyes closed? Remember that baby you saw in your mind’s eye? Wasn’t it soft, cooing, sweet, innocent, and angelic? You wouldn’t think that a darling baby could ever make you mad right? That is preposterous. It is just a baby… a harmless adorable lovely little baby. Well let me tell you that sometimes you can get so mad at a baby you want to punch them in the throat.

So The Munch is learning how to walk right? Now, the rational side of me knows that is a lot for her little brain to process and I should be empathic to all this change she is going through. But for the past week she has not only been having fitful violent sleep, but the only way she will go back to sleep is if I get up and walk around with her. She will push up against me and pull my hair while I wrestle her to try and get her to calm down. When I finally feel her relax and try to put her down on the bed, she wakes up to yell at me, roll around, grunt, moan and cry. Then she tries to sit up and stand, gets confused and tired, and yells some more.

It is hard to deal with that in the middle of the night. You are tired, and don’t feel like walking around with a thrashing lunatic. The other night I got so frustrated I looked her in the eye and asked “What the fuck do you want from me?” She was quite for a moment, and while she thought it over flopped back and fell asleep. Then when I finally fell back asleep, she woke up and we did it all over again.

In the morning when she wakes up, she pats me awake and gives me baby hugs that melt my heart like a grilled cheese sandwich. Mmmmm that actually sounds delicious… but is official…The Munch is an emotional terrorist!

“I’m sorry mama for keeping you up… can you forgive me?”